Below are definitions of terms commonly used in B.E.S.T. slave training terms found on this site.
B.E.S.T. slave training Dictionary of Terms:
As if: If a slave (in early training) is made to act like a trained slave, she becomes more accustomed to it and she gradually comes to accept slavery as natural. Training techniques such as requiring your slave to present as you enter a room, speech modifications, position training, learning and adapting to rules are all examples of behavior modification and become second nature to her. In short, during training a slave is required to act “as if” she is a trained slave.
Attitude: Is a combination of learned beliefs and feelings that effect behavior. In addition, it has been shown that changing behavior (acting “as if”) can change attitudes. Attitudes are set within our private logic. Private logic is the way we see ourselves, others and life and is our personal philosophy that our lifestyle is based upon. Attitude is defined as a predisposition to respond to a particular object in a generally favorable or unfavorable way. Attitude is influenced by the way we perceive and respond to the world and is acquired through learning.
Behavioral training: Involves not allowing the slave to freely own her space, time, physical actions, privacy and relationships with others. Some old habits will be eliminated and new habits will be formed. Behavior is goal directed. Therefore, goals need to be established in slave training. In addition, motivation to accomplish the goals can’t be ignored.
B.E.S.T. Is short for B.E.S.T. slave training guide. It is an acronym for Behavior, Emotions, Self-image and Thoughts. Training is designed around these four areas and goals are set. It is intense slave training covered in the Theory and Practice sections of this site.
BDSM: Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism: BDSM is a word combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage and Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sado Masochistic.
Bondage: Can be used for erotic stimulation, punishment, discipline training, or humiliation. It provides a real life example to the slave of her Master’s ownership of her body, time and space.
Choice decision: The Definition as used in B.E.S.T. slave training : A slave at some point in training, makes a decision to allow her Master to own her choices. In other words, she makes a “choice decision.” Once a slave makes this “choice decision”, she becomes subject to his will and obeys any choices he makes for her. Theses choices can include her behavior, relationships with others, controlling her time and space and many other things. This is not always an easy decision and is directly related to the trust she feels in her Maste
Consequences: Natural consequences are a negative result of short-sightedness or lack of attention. In natural consequences no one else is involved; your actions cause a consequence. Logical consequences are a negative result of failing to understand or ignoring rules, laws, protocols and social restrictions that are established by her Master. Logical consequences are applied by others to the offender (Master to slave).
Contract: A contract defines the goals and sets standards expected of a slave and establishes the responsibilities of the Master. It is not a legally binding contract, but it is a symbolic representation of the commitment for both Master and slave.
Discipline: Is training employed by the Master to teach proper behavior and obedience. Discipline is the instructions and exercises used by a Master to mold his slave to serve, obey and please him. Discipline training can be physical, mental or moral. Generally, within the bdsm lifestyle the words discipline and punishment have different meanings.
Emotions: Are the main driving force in any individual. Positive emotions about her enslavement should be fostered.
Interpersonal forms of power: Are the ways a Master can manage, train and control his slave. The 5 interpersonal forms of power are:
Reward Power – Coercive Power – Legitimate Power – Reverent Power and Expert Power.
Goals: The re-education process in B.E.S.T. slave training are to:
- Foster re-socialization.
- Overcome negative feelings in order for her to feel “at home” in her slavery.
- Modify views and goals and change faulty motivations.
- Develop a sense of being owned.
- Developing her skills into a better contributing slave to her Master.
Helplessness: Means that she is helpless to change her behavior and still maintain her slavery. This is because she has made a “choice decision” that allows her Master to own her choices. Yes, she could change her behavior to one that is not her Master’s wishes, but would be outside her slavery and the “choice decision” she has made. She is “helpless” to change her behavior because how she behaves is determined by her Master.
Inferiority: Means that you feel that you can improve an aspect of your life if you become better at a task, knowledge or skill. In other words, you strive to get better at a task you are weak at or have little knowledge of. Accomplishments in life are driven by an effort to overcome inferior feelings and it is our energy source. We strive to make our lives better and have a superior life in the future
Lifestyle: Is the way of thinking, seeing, feeling toward life and is synonymous with what is called personality. Adler (1956, pp 187-188). It is the guide toward life goals and why our behavior as a whole is what it is. It is comprised of both conscious and subconscious mind. The habits we form are in support of our lifestyle and help us find our place in the world.
Main aim of B.E.S.T.: Slave training is to:
- Develop a sense of belonging to her Master.
- Adopt a behavior pleasing to her Master.
- Re-socialize her to fit her Master’s social needs.
This reorienting process is more than behavioral changes.
Master: As used in B.E.S.T., it means a slave owner and trainer. A Master is the person the slave has chosen (choice decision) to own her choices.
Master’s role: In training is to provide the slave with support, direction, encouragement, insight, change, challenge and establish or reinforce social values.
Masochism: The ability to derive pleasure from pain.
Modes (slave modes) are taught systems of behavior that are required of a slave. For most Masters and slaves, there is not one overall behavior that is required at all times and places. A slave is placed in a mode by voice command. Once a voice command is given to the slave informing her which mode her Master desires, her behavior changes to match the rules and protocols she has learned for that mode.
Obedience: For BDSM lifestyle purposes is the whole mind and body of the slave submitting to the will of her Master and his rules. Obedience has to be learned, expanded and practiced in order for her to become an effective slave.
Presenting (or PRESENT): Means that a slave stops what she is doing and changes her current focus and directs her attention to her Master. An example of presenting is when a slave enters the same room as her Master, she first comes to her Master and assumes a modified STAND or KNEEL position and awaits instructions. It is used to assist a Master in controlling the slave’s behavior.
Private logic: Determines the lifestyle we live. Private logic is the way we see ourselves, others, and life and is our personal philosophy that our lifestyle is based on. Private logic guides feelings and behavior. The greater the distance between private logic and reality, the greater the chance of inappropriate behavior
Punishment: Is correcting misbehavior. It is a penalty imposed on the slave for wrongdoing.
Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT): Was developed by Albert Ellis, Ph. D. as a means of discovering and changing faulty thinking which, in turn, changes emotions. The beliefs we hold cause the emotions we feel. Identifying a belief that is incorrect and changing that belief is the key to REBT. This is accomplished by first identifying the belief then disputing the belief.
Resistance: Is classified as internal or external. Internal resistance is an attempt by the slave to retreat from her Master’s efforts to explore and alter behavior or beliefs. External resistance can be caused by anxiety about being dependent or close to another person.
Service: Has a two part meaning; behavior and state of mind.
Self-image: Is the way in which we view ourselves. The training should be geared to creating a positive self-image in being a slave owned by her Master. A positive self-image of herself as a slave is important.
Slave: The terms submissive and slave are not the same. A submissive obeys and serves by choosing to do so each time and retains her will. A slave initially makes a choice to obey her Master at all times and then submits to the will of her Master at all times. A submissive accepts submission, while a slave accepts obedience. BUT boy is this a subjective term in the lifestyle that is almost individualized to each relationship.
S&M Sadomasochist, SM: S&M: Stands for “sadism and masochism.”
Social interests: Refers to the urge a person has to adapt one’s self to the conditions of the social environment around them. Another way of describing social interest is the striving to become responsible, cooperative, and useful within a social environment.
Socialization: The way individuals learn skills, knowledge, values, motives and roles appropriate to their position in a group or society. Re-socialization of a slave involves teaching new skills, values, setting goals, providing motivations, and molding her to the role of slave. Re-socialization always involves a teacher, a learning process, a person to be socialized and something that is learned.
Submissive: See “slave” for a definition of slave and submissive. They are not necessarily defined as the same.
Superiority: Means becoming good at doing something, accomplishing and improving life. The slave strives for superiority in her slavery and to strengthen the social connection between Master and slave.
Thought process: We first think (perceive and value), then feel and then act. What we believe about a subject or event (stimuli) causes what emotions we have and this in turn causes what behavior is displayed. Changing a slave’s core beliefs to better accept slavery in turn changes emotions and behavior.
TPE: Total Power Exchange. A slave giving her choices to her master and him accepting total responsibility.
Trust: Involves a belief that her Master:
- Has the knowledge and skills necessary to re-educate and re-socialize her.
- Will keep her safe.
- Will accept ownership of her.
- Will structure her service in a way that she feels useful.
- Has personal stability and integrity.
Voice training: Training the slave to speak in the pattern and inflection that her Master finds desirable and is befitting her position as his slave. This pattern may change depending on the MODE she is placed into by her Master. In addition it involves limiting a slave speech to predefined limits.
Dictionary of Terms: