slave training goals and motivations - slave girl with arms bound - bdsm

Image by China Hamilton

A slave having a positive self-image is key to successful consensual  slave training and her mental health.

A slave’s existence is gaged by her self-image. Goals and striving to complete them are mainly based upon high self-image. With low self-image, there is less drive and less striving to reach happiness.  A low self-image is what B.E.S.T. strives to overcome.  Therefore the training must be consensual.  No relationship will last with one partner trying to cause the other party to have a low self image.

A positive self-image provides energy to the relationship. It gives motivation power. A slave with high self-image tends to accept greater and more meaningful goals. They view higher goals as a challenge to complete not a burden. They are more likely to become the slave you need and want.

Slaves with a lower self-image seek the comfort of familiarity and less demanding purposes. Coping with training improves with better self-images. What a slave gets from life depends on how she views

First, before you can create a positive self-image for your slave you must have and display a positive self-image yourself.   You must know yourself and be comfortable in your own skin.   What you feel can be sensed easily by your slave.

A person can have a negative self-image based upon a private logic that involves faulty thinking.  A Master during early slave training must make efforts to understand the current state of a slave self-image and if necessary establish methods to develop a more positive self-image.

Yes,  we are a group of individuals with dominant and submissive desires looking for a partner.  But that alone may not be enough if the trainee is severely affected by prior abuse or other low self-image problems.   Often a master must overcome past negative self-images in a slave caused by abuse (physical or mental) suffered at the hands of others.  she can’t be a good slave suffering from mistrust of her master.  You can’t be a good master if you don’t in some way guide her out of a low self-image.   This may mean you first seek the help of a professional in the field of psychology to deal with the issues.

Self-image is one of the 4 major areas in the B.E.S.T. slave training concept.  All are based on being safe, sane and consensual as clearly defined in the BDSM lifestyle.

 

Private logic and slave training:

Private logic is a person’s unique evaluation of self, others, and the world, (personal environment) and what is required by you of them and what is required of them by you.  It is a self-philosophy that one’s entire lifestyle is based upon.  Private logic is based upon convictions which are not usually in awareness. Both the subconscious and the conscious are included in our private logic.

Private logic determines the type of lifestyle we live.

Conflicts arise when private logic does not agree with social aspects of our lives.   A slave must feel in harmony with the environment in order to be successfully serving her Master in a long-term relationship. Her Master must challenge the private logic of his slave if there is a conflict.  See, slave training is not always fun and games. Slave training can involve probing the inner mind and developing positive attitudes.

A slave must have a positive self-image in her slavery.  A positive self-image that displays acceptance of her slavery frees her to expand her world and have a feeling of belonging and joy.

Core beliefs are the basis of her self-image: Often self-image will greatly affect the emotions expressed by an event.   Responses often change the same event depending on the growth of self-image.  One can become emotional over an event and still have no great internal turmoil, if you have a positive self-image

positive self-image occurs when a slave’s core beliefs are to accept and enjoy the learned behaviors required to serve, obey and please her Master.   She is at peace in her slavery and it feels natural to her.   The slave develops a sense of belonging to her Master.  The slave has learned to let go of negative ideas and feelings about being the property of another and feeling connected to her Master through her slavery.  She has experienced the restrictions of slavery and they have become part of her being.  She sees that she pleases her Master by her service and accepts that a slave is judged by her service.   She is owned but does not own and knows her happiness lies in this.  She is the property of her Master. This is all part of slave training.

One of the keys to developing a slave’s positive self-image is her lack of privacy in hiding thoughts and emotions from her Master.    Not allowing behavioral privacy and explaining what is expected of her and reinforcing her for revealing enter thoughts and feels are the best methods for developing openness.

Examples of methods used to control or change imagery during slave training:

  • 1) Hypnosis.
  • 2) Rewards and encouragement.
  • 3) Discussions.
  • 4) Ego strengthening.
  • 5) Positive imagery: The picturing of a positive image in your mind or picturing acting correctly.
  • 6) Goal rehearsal & coping skills: Practicing the goals that are set by the Master.

 

Probably the single best method of improving self-image in a slave is telling her when she is pleasing you with her behavior.  Positive reinforcement is a huge part of  slave training.   It builds her self-image if during slave training you tell her when she is doing well.

If she is a natural submissive more than likely she will want to please you.   If so, use that to your advantage and tell her when she makes you happy.

A slave can have a set of unrealistic benchmarks for what she believes is a positive self-image.   This could include money, possessions, and other things that are valued in current culture.  Satisfaction and pride can come from social interest and a connectiveness with her Master.   The willingness to serve, obey and please for the benefit of her Master can provide not only life-long self-esteem, but earn a slave the esteem and appreciation of her Master.    This must be done of her on freewill in order to last a lifetime.  Enslavement is by her will to serve you not your force.

Often the root of what constitutes the slave’s self-esteem needs to be examined.  Challenging the slave’s thoughts about herself and encouragement are important.

Below is a list of common types of thoughts that a Master may wish to keep in mind as he improves his slave’s self-image.   A negative self-image is based upon thoughts that affect her emotions.

Positive Thought to change self-image from  positive self image reading to understand how it applies in slave training:

  • 1) Avoid Extremes: 
    Correct the internal voice thank thinks in extreme, especially when it is negative. Example: (“I always make mistakes)”    No one “always” does anything.  
  • 2) top thinking negative thoughts:
    Sometimes putting a stop on negative thinking is as easy as that. The next time you start giving yourself an internal browbeating, tell yourself to “stop it!” If you saw a person yelling insults at another person, you would probably tell them to stop. Why do you accept that behavior from yourself?
  • 3) Accentuate the positive:
    Instead of focusing on what you think are your negative qualities, accentuate your strengths and assets.
  • 4) Accept flaws and being human:
    All people have flaws and make mistakes. They’ve forgiven themselves; so can you.
  • 5) Accept imperfections:
    Perfection is a high goal to aim for — you don’t need to start there or even end there.  Allow yourself to make mistakes and then forgive yourself. Try laughing instead of criticizing.
  • 6) Don’t bully yourself!
    “Should have, could have, would have…” Try not to constantly second guess yourself, criticize yourself for what you “should” have done better, or expect too much from yourself.
  • 7) Replace criticism with encouragement:
    Instead of nagging or focusing on the negative (in yourself and others), replace your criticism with encouragement. Give constructive criticism.
  • 8) Don’t feel guilty about things beyond your control:
    You are not to blame every time something goes wrong or someone has a problem. Apologizing for things and accepting blame can be a positive quality, if you are in the wrong and if you learn and move on. But you shouldn’t feel responsible for all problems or assume you are to blame whenever someone is upset.
  • 9) Don’t feel responsible for everything:
    Just as everything is not your fault, not everything is your responsibility. It’s okay to be helpful, but don’t feel the need to be all things (and do all things) for all people.
  • 10) Do feel responsible for your feelings:
    You create your own feelings and make your own decisions. People and events may have an affect on your emotions, but they can’t dictate them.
  • 11) Treat yourself kindly:
    People often feel more comfortable treating themselves in ways they wouldn’t consider treating others. Do you criticize yourself with terms like “stupid” “ugly” or “loser”? Would you use those terms to describe a friend?
  • 12) Give yourself a break:
    You don’t need to be all things to all people or please everyone. Give yourself permission to decide you’re doing the best you can.
  • 13) Look at the brighter side of things:
    You can choose how to interpret comments and events, so try for the more positive interpretations.
  • 14) Forgive and forget:
    Try not to hang on to painful memories and bad feelings – this is a surefire way to encourage negative thoughts.
  • 15) Focus on what you CAN do, not what you can’t: