Train your slave

Loyalty in a polyamorous Master/slave relationship

September 27, 2012 in Slave Training by Cuffsmaster

Loy­alty if a polyamorous Master/slave rela­tion­ship is com­plex and dif­fer­ent for a Mas­ter than his slave’s because of the very nature of the relationship.

slavery

Pho­tog­ra­pher Derek Bowden

Trust and a feel­ing of belong­ing are nec­es­sary to allow loy­alty to grow.  You become loyal to some­one you feel a con­nec­tion to.

It is the Master’s respon­si­bil­ity to build the feel­ing of belong in a sub­mis­sive to fos­ter her loy­alty to him, the polyamorous Master/slave rela­tion­ship and the other slave. The mas­ter assumes the bur­den of build­ing and pro­tect­ing his slaves’ loy­alty. This is not easy because every­one has con­flict­ing loy­al­ties. An exam­ple would be the loy­alty to a friend can con­flict with loy­alty to fam­ily or a principle.

The scholar does not con­sider gold and jade to be pre­cious trea­sures, but loy­alty and good faith.” – Confucius

Read the rest of this entry →

Avatar of mb

by mb

mb’s post on the word slave, and B.E.S.T. articles.

June 11, 2012 in B.E.S.T. slave training - General, BDSM by mb

I received this email from mb and with her approval opened an account and pub­lished it as a post. yes I knew LD. He was well known and missed.

The email from mb is as follows:

Dear Sir,

I believe we may know each other. I belonged to L.D. who dies quite a while back. I’m

spread wide - submission

sub­mis­sion

cur­rently in a rela­tion­ship with another dom­i­nant man (what a sur­prise, really) and since we will soon be get­ting mar­ried and I will be mov­ing in with him, i was look­ing for some point­ers to help both of us. While I’ve come across your web­site before and found it very use­ful, I thought I would finally write to you and make some com­ments. Please keep in mind that I am a queer sub­mis­sive woman who has on occa­sion dom­i­nated oth­ers, that I am African-American and do not use terms like mas­ter and slave in my rela­tion­ship, that I have a back­ground in cul­tural anthro­pol­ogy and that my for­mer Sir had a back­ground in social psy­chol­ogy, and that I do not see the dom­i­nant male/submissive female dyad is being the new plus ultra of BDSM; it’s just one of many flavors.

 

1. I con­grat­u­late you on writ­ing your excel­lent web­site. The ways in which you use Adler­ian and other psy­cho­log­i­cal tech­niques to explain pos­si­ble ways of train­ing is superb. The only nig­gle I have (and it’s a small one) is in the REBT sec­tion; philo­soph­i­cally I don’t think it’s wrong to dis­cuss with a slave/submissive whether slav­ery is a form of hap­pi­ness. It isn’t for every­one, at least not in an obvi­ous way. I would argue that we are all slaves to some­thing, and that if a woman has prob­lems with think­ing of her­self as a slave it might be that this prac­tice is not a good fit for her. Read the rest of this entry →

Avatar of mb

by mb

The Ideal Master/Owner of a slave

June 11, 2012 in B.E.S.T. slave training - General, for admin only by mb

An arti­cle about the mas­ter or owner in the bdsm lifestyle and  slave train­ing. Master/owner of a slave

The Ideal Master/Owner
an arti­cle writ­ten by mb
for B.E.S.T. slave training

The Ideal Master/Owner and slave trainer in the BDSM Lifestyle

I read the arti­cle on ‘The Per­fect Slave with great interest.

bdsm lifestyle - slave training - Master/owner training a slaveHow­ever, since BDSM is con­sen­sual, masters/owners must work to keep their prop­erty happy. It is not enough to train a slave accord­ing to his or her wont; the slave/property’s needs and desires must be taken into account.

1. The ideal mas­ter is one who is inter­ested in learn­ing the psy­chol­ogy of his prop­erty. He (we’ll use ‘he’ because of the dynam­ics of this site) wants to under­stand how his prop­erty thinks; not just about how that per­son thinks about slav­ery and submission, but about pretty much any­thing that they share. This is impor­tant if the mas­ter wants to have full con­trol over his prop­erty, since if the slave’s thought process is in any way a mys­tery, those thoughts can­not be under his con­trol. Some­times a slave might not inten­tion­ally hide infor­ma­tion from the dom­i­nant but still be unable to artic­u­late some­thing that seems obvi­ous or triv­ial. Under­stand­ing the slave fully, through obser­va­tion, inter­ro­ga­tion, and prior knowl­edge will makes the slave’s motives in all things crys­tal clear.

2. The ideal mas­ter is well-read in a vari­ety of sub­jects and has a quest­ing curi­ous mind. How else can he teach his slave new things or raise the bar of expec­ta­tions if he him­self can­not lead by exam­ple? This will also keep bore­dom set­ting in for the slave over the long term, as they learn new things together.

3. The ideal mas­ter has a sense of humor. He should be able to see the absur­dity in many sit­u­a­tions, includ­ing the master/slave rela­tion­ship itself. It is no longer pos­si­ble to legally own peo­ple in the US, and ante­bel­lum slav­ery was a hor­ri­ble thing that destroyed fam­i­lies and souls. With­out a sense of humor, it is easy for a mas­ter to become con­vinced that his own­er­ship is both real and immutable, which can lead to emo­tional and even phys­i­cal abuse.

4. The ideal mas­ter is capa­ble of flex­i­bil­ity. He under­stands that in order for a rela­tion­ship to grow and stay fresh, the dynam­ics may change over time. This was true for real-life slave­own­ers who were sex­u­ally inti­mate with their slaves, and it is true of mod­ern peo­ple who believe they have spir­i­tual own­er­ship over another. With­out flex­i­bil­ity, the slave may become emo­tion­ally crip­pled, and the mas­ter may end up alone. Read the rest of this entry →

Adapting to slavery — Master slave relationship issues

May 16, 2012 in for admin only, Slave Training by Cuffsmaster

slave Train­ing: The fol­low­ing are some sug­ges­tions to make learn­ing to become a slave easier:

slave training - under foot of master - bdsm lifestyle1 ) Lis­ten, observe and ask ques­tions dur­ing slave train­ing. Since there are new rules and norms that may be unfa­mil­iar to you, lis­ten care­fully to ver­bal com­mu­ni­ca­tion and observe non-verbal com­mu­ni­ca­tion care­fully and try to put them in proper con­text. Take note of all things that please and dis­please your Mas­ter. If pos­si­ble, observ­ing oth­ers is a great way to learn.  slave train­ing involves pay­ing atten­tion to detail.

You should not assume that you always know what is going on or that you under­stand what you hear or see. In order to be an effec­tive slave, you must know what is expected of you. Fail­ing to ask ques­tions is often a mis­take a new trainee makes. COMMUNICATION IS KEY TO SLAVERY.

2 ) Don’t overly eval­u­ate or judge events or overly crit­i­cize your­self. You are learn­ing a new way of doing and see­ing things. Com­par­i­son to the vanilla way a rela­tion­ship works does not always apply to a BDSM rela­tion­ship. A slave is owned as prop­erty and as such must obey some­times with­out judg­ing the com­mand given to her. Your Mas­ter is to become your key source of eval­u­a­tion and judg­ment of the cor­rect­ness of your actions.

3 ) Be curi­ous. To expe­ri­ence slav­ery and to learn from it, it is impor­tant to be open to new expe­ri­ences. The more you are will­ing to explore, the more you will learn.

4 ) Expect some anx­i­ety and frus­tra­tion. Learn­ing to func­tion as a slave is not easy and it is nat­ural to feel some anx­i­ety and frus­tra­tion. If you rec­og­nize that these are nor­mal parts of the expe­ri­ence, you may be able to deal with them more effec­tively. Open­ness about your feel­ings will also help. Learn­ing slav­ery involves not only learn­ing your Master’s rules, but it also includes learn­ing new habits and alter­ing some old habits. Learn­ing new habits takes a repet­i­tive effort.

5 ) Become involved. The more you put into the expe­ri­ence of becom­ing a slave the more you will learn from it. Take the time to study the rules your Mas­ter has estab­lished for you and prac­tice the skills he requires of you. Don’t expect your Mas­ter to directly guide your every learn­ing process; actively make efforts to learn and improve your skills on your own.

6 ) Be open. In slave train­ing you will reveal your thoughts and emo­tions to your Mas­ter. Reveal­ing your inner most thoughts and feel­ings is dif­fi­cult for most peo­ple. Pre­pare your­self for this level of openness.

7 ) Accept crit­i­cism. You will be expected to change old behav­iors and atti­tudes. You may very well be chal­lenged in your actions, atti­tudes and beliefs. As a slave, your behav­ior is con­trolled by your Mas­ter. There­fore, you can expect him to be crit­i­cal of your present behav­ior and expect change. 

8 ) Expect change. Your Mas­ter will re-educate you and re-orient you to fit his needs. This will require changes in your behav­ior, emo­tions and thoughts. Pre­pare your­self for change. Train­ing a slave is often called a mold­ing process. Expect to be molded as your Mas­ter desires.  Accept that change will hap­pen and you have no choice.

9 ) Be devoted. The impor­tance of devo­tion to your Mas­ter can’t be under­stated. It pro­vides the foun­da­tion for future growth and is a source of pride for your Master.

10 ) Expect and accept obe­di­ence. Be pre­pared to learn to be obe­di­ent. A slave’s duty is to obey her Mas­ter. Often, in the begin­ning, you will be pushed. Obe­di­ence is a state of mind, there­fore, it is learned. Obe­di­ence pro­vides a foun­da­tion for more advances in learn­ing and improve­ment of your skills. Prac­tice being con­sis­tent in your obedience.

by Cuff­s­mas­ter

Trust is like a bank — applied to a Master slave relationship

May 14, 2012 in Trust by Cuffsmaster

Trust in slave training:

In his book “It’s Your Ship: Man­age­ment Tech­niques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy”    Com­man­der  Michael Abrashoff  says that per­sonal trust is like a bank.  You need to make deposits often and let it build up quan­tity and inter­est.  He points out that as events hap­pen in life you may well need to spend some of this trust so you need reserves.  Spend the trust wisely and save it for emergencies.

This may well be true in slave train­ing.  The slave girl you are train­ing may react the wrong way to a train­ing step you take or you might just make a stu­pid mis­take were extra trust in the bank will help.

It is nice to have trust in the bank to spend when that happens.

Trust In a Master/slave relationship

Often the big key to suc­cess­ful slave train­ing is based on the amount of trust she has in her Master.

What com­poses this “Bank of Trust” that she has is her belief that  he has the knowl­edge and skills to train her cor­rectly, keep her  phys­i­cally and emo­tion­ally safe, accepts own­er­ship of her as a slave girl once trained, will struc­ture ser­vice to make her use­ful and pro­duc­tive and has sta­bil­ity in his on life.  With this foun­da­tion trust can be deposited in the bank.

Caged slave girl, slave in training, bdsm lifestyle, trust in training

caged girl

Trust Bank­ruptcy in slave training

Most of us that’s been around for a while has seen those spend more trust than they have and spend it to quickly.   If you over­spend the rela­tion­ship it is most likely over.    So build a trust fund to spend as needed or when you must.

The foun­da­tion for build­ing trust with your slave is com­mu­ni­ca­tion and hon­esty.   It is also impor­tant that a slave know that her body is safe with you dur­ing play and you have the skills nec­es­sary to play wisely.    Mis­takes hap­pen so cred­i­bil­ity is impor­tant so that she does not loose con­fi­dence in your skills.   She only grows if she trust you.

 

China Hamilton photograph

April 18, 2012 in for admin only, Uncategorized by Cuffsmaster

I want to thank China Hamil­ton for allow­ing me the use of his images on The B.E.S.T. slave train­ing Guide .   Love the work.  I am in his debt for allow­ing me to use his images.

slave training - bondage - B.D.S.M. lifestyle

China Hamil­ton — slave in bondage

another image from China.

 

 

Go to chinahamilton.com to see his beau­ti­ful work

 

 

 

This site is protected by WP-CopyRightPro