Train your slave

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by Cuffsmaster

Focus of the B.E.S.T. slave training website

July 14, 2012 in Slave Training by Cuffsmaster

tied to a tower for bondage and slave training, bdsm

Easy to con­struct tower for BDSM use

This web­site will focus on the spe­cial­ized  topic of a master/slave rela­tion­ship and slave train­ing there­fore the posts and replies to forum ques­tions will be answered with this con­cept at the cen­ter.  Here we talk about what we believe.

In oth­er­words it’s assumed that Mas­ters and slaves are the mem­bers or those wish­ing to be Master’s or slaves joined to learn.    We will not change to a more geneal dis­cus­sion for­mat.  B.E.S.T. is about slave train­ing and that will remain the focus. There is no need to express post or answers to ques­tions in a way that does not reflected a Master/slave rela­tion­ship or a slave being trained for long-term slavery.

slave Train­ing Focus

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by Cuffsmaster

A master’s Responsibility

June 3, 2012 in for admin only, Slave Training by Cuffsmaster

A master’s respon­si­bil­ity in slave train­ing and the B.D.S.M. Lifestyle: You are respon­si­ble for being an hon­or­able Mas­ter that your slave and

trust and responsible is a Master's duty. slave in suspended rope bondage

sus­pended rope bondage

oth­ers can depend on.  That means that you are account­able for your behav­ior.  This allows your slave (s) to drop all guards and trust you with­out fear.

You must know your duties and be will­ing to takes the steps nec­es­sary to learn what safe actions you must fol­low, cor­rectly man­age your slave’s train­ing and then be account­able for any prob­lems or mishaps as well as tak­ing credit for any successes.

Defi­na­tion of respon­si­bilty per:  http://www.merriam-webster.com

1: the qual­ity or state of being reson­si­ble as

 a : moral, legal, or men­tal accountability

 b : trustworthiness

2: some­thing for which one is respon­bible : bur­den <has neglected his responsibilities>

 

Safety in slave train­ing and the B.D.S.M. lifestyle:

First a Mas­ter is respon­si­ble for the safety of his slave in train­ing both phys­i­cally and emo­tion­ally.  Train­ing a slave to serve, obey and please you is not caus­ing her to be a men­tal or phys­i­cal wreck.  Yes you push her in slave train­ing but always with the pur­pose of strength­en­ing her slavery.

In addi­tion a Mas­ter is respon­si­ble for the safety of any play part­ner (not his slave) and holds some respon­si­bil­ity for unsafe acts he wit­nesses by those act­ing irre­spon­si­ble  or untrained.  Never assume every­one uses rea­son­able care in bdsm play or slave train­ing.  They don’t.

A Mas­ter is respon­si­ble to insure his play is safe, sane, and con­sen­sual.  In play (with a play part­ner not his slave) he has no author­ity beyond what is agreed to by both par­ties. Most likely she will want a safe-word if she is a play part­ner  (not a slave) and it is your duty to honor it.  When play­ing with his slave, a Mas­ter is still respon­bible for her health and safety, period.

Being safe can mean you don’t take actions that will destroy her job, friend­ships or fam­ily rela­tion­ships. Yes, there are times when a Mas­ter can and should step in but the actions need to be prac­ti­cal and with good cause.  These action should improve self-image and esteem not destroy it.

Be Con­sis­tent as a Master:

In life it’s much eas­ier to trust some­one that is sta­ble and con­sis­tent in behav­ior.  A slave wants to learn how to serve, obey and please her Mas­ter.  It is very con­fus­ing to her and she is unable to let go to her core if a Mas­ter is not con­sis­tent in his behav­ior. If you estab­lish a rule for her to fol­low then it should not change with­out notice. She has no way of know­ing how to serve you if you don’t tell her if you change rules.  This may sound like com­mon sense but I have seen this basic rule of con­sis­tency bro­ken or not under­stood many a time.   Do you really give her a chance to trust you with her training?

Now there is noth­ing wrong with chang­ing rules or a slaves behav­ior if you believe another behav­ior is bet­ter but make the change clear to her.

Real­is­tic Plans & Expectations:

The train­ing goals must be real­is­tic and obtain­able for a slave. Unre­al­is­tic goals does not build trust or moti­va­tion her to serve you. When you live the lifestyle 24/7 it is not a fairy­tale and must be adapted around the real­ity of liv­ing life in and around the vanilla world.

Respon­si­bil­ity to the B.D.S.M. Community:

A Mas­ter also has a respon­si­bil­ity to the gen­eral B.D.S.M. Comm­nity to speak out and pro­mote safe and sane prac­tices.  This is part of the lifestyle social respon­si­bil­ity.   This may become very impor­tant now with the new inter­est in the lifestyle because of the book “fifty Shades of Grey.”  

This new book will bring out many and most will have lit­tle or no expe­ri­ence in the lifestyle.  It is a time when we as a group  can make pos­i­tive progress or suf­fer major set­backs.   It’s up to those with expe­ri­ence to make them­selves avail­able to direct both the new Dom­i­nant and sub­mis­sive into the new world of B.D.S.M.   Now that does not mean you want to rush to be the first to meet, beat and for­get the new sub.

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Adapting to slavery — Master slave relationship issues

May 16, 2012 in for admin only, Slave Training by Cuffsmaster

slave Train­ing: The fol­low­ing are some sug­ges­tions to make learn­ing to become a slave easier:

slave training - under foot of master - bdsm lifestyle1 ) Lis­ten, observe and ask ques­tions dur­ing slave train­ing. Since there are new rules and norms that may be unfa­mil­iar to you, lis­ten care­fully to ver­bal com­mu­ni­ca­tion and observe non-verbal com­mu­ni­ca­tion care­fully and try to put them in proper con­text. Take note of all things that please and dis­please your Mas­ter. If pos­si­ble, observ­ing oth­ers is a great way to learn.  slave train­ing involves pay­ing atten­tion to detail.

You should not assume that you always know what is going on or that you under­stand what you hear or see. In order to be an effec­tive slave, you must know what is expected of you. Fail­ing to ask ques­tions is often a mis­take a new trainee makes. COMMUNICATION IS KEY TO SLAVERY.

2 ) Don’t overly eval­u­ate or judge events or overly crit­i­cize your­self. You are learn­ing a new way of doing and see­ing things. Com­par­i­son to the vanilla way a rela­tion­ship works does not always apply to a BDSM rela­tion­ship. A slave is owned as prop­erty and as such must obey some­times with­out judg­ing the com­mand given to her. Your Mas­ter is to become your key source of eval­u­a­tion and judg­ment of the cor­rect­ness of your actions.

3 ) Be curi­ous. To expe­ri­ence slav­ery and to learn from it, it is impor­tant to be open to new expe­ri­ences. The more you are will­ing to explore, the more you will learn.

4 ) Expect some anx­i­ety and frus­tra­tion. Learn­ing to func­tion as a slave is not easy and it is nat­ural to feel some anx­i­ety and frus­tra­tion. If you rec­og­nize that these are nor­mal parts of the expe­ri­ence, you may be able to deal with them more effec­tively. Open­ness about your feel­ings will also help. Learn­ing slav­ery involves not only learn­ing your Master’s rules, but it also includes learn­ing new habits and alter­ing some old habits. Learn­ing new habits takes a repet­i­tive effort.

5 ) Become involved. The more you put into the expe­ri­ence of becom­ing a slave the more you will learn from it. Take the time to study the rules your Mas­ter has estab­lished for you and prac­tice the skills he requires of you. Don’t expect your Mas­ter to directly guide your every learn­ing process; actively make efforts to learn and improve your skills on your own.

6 ) Be open. In slave train­ing you will reveal your thoughts and emo­tions to your Mas­ter. Reveal­ing your inner most thoughts and feel­ings is dif­fi­cult for most peo­ple. Pre­pare your­self for this level of openness.

7 ) Accept crit­i­cism. You will be expected to change old behav­iors and atti­tudes. You may very well be chal­lenged in your actions, atti­tudes and beliefs. As a slave, your behav­ior is con­trolled by your Mas­ter. There­fore, you can expect him to be crit­i­cal of your present behav­ior and expect change. 

8 ) Expect change. Your Mas­ter will re-educate you and re-orient you to fit his needs. This will require changes in your behav­ior, emo­tions and thoughts. Pre­pare your­self for change. Train­ing a slave is often called a mold­ing process. Expect to be molded as your Mas­ter desires.  Accept that change will hap­pen and you have no choice.

9 ) Be devoted. The impor­tance of devo­tion to your Mas­ter can’t be under­stated. It pro­vides the foun­da­tion for future growth and is a source of pride for your Master.

10 ) Expect and accept obe­di­ence. Be pre­pared to learn to be obe­di­ent. A slave’s duty is to obey her Mas­ter. Often, in the begin­ning, you will be pushed. Obe­di­ence is a state of mind, there­fore, it is learned. Obe­di­ence pro­vides a foun­da­tion for more advances in learn­ing and improve­ment of your skills. Prac­tice being con­sis­tent in your obedience.

by Cuff­s­mas­ter

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