“Choice deci­sion”  Def­i­n­i­tion as used in B.E.S.T. slave train­ing :   A slave at some point in train­ing, makes a deci­sion to allow her Mas­ter to own her choices.   In other words, she makes a “choice decision.”   

Behav­ior is based upon choices.  What choices a per­son makes in life deter­mines what actions they take.  Own­ing a slaves choices is own­ing her behav­ior and actions. The feel­ing of help­less­ness to con­trol and change her own behav­ior is impor­tant in slave train­ing.  Own­ing a slave’s choices instills a feel­ing of help­less­ness to con­trol her own behavior.

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This is not always an easy deci­sion for a slave to make and is directly related to the trust she feels in her Mas­ter.   A Mas­ter may not make every choice for a slave but any he does make must be obeyed.    She may have an influ­ence on his final deci­sion by offer­ing advice, but she is bound by his final deci­sion.  In other words, in any area of her life that he wishes, he can make  the choice as to how she behaves  and she is oblig­ated by her slav­ery to obeys.  

When a slave makes a  “Choice Deci­sion” it mean her Mas­ter owns, con­trols, and can change or mod­ify her behav­ior.  Slav­ery does not exist with­out her grant­ing her choices to her Master. 

The goal of “Choice deci­sion” the­ory in slave train­ing — behavior

In early train­ing, the goal of the “choice deci­sion” the­ory is to change the slave’s behav­ior, eval­u­ate deci­sion mak­ing steps to include her Master’s choices in her actions, improve obe­di­ence and the rela­tion­ship between Mas­ter and slave.  This in turn allows her to effec­tively sat­isfy the desire to serve, obey and please him.   A slave’s “Choice deci­sion”  allows her Mas­ter to focus on her cur­rent con­scious behav­ioral actions  and change them if nec­es­sary to please him.

When chang­ing behav­ior, insight is not enough. A Mas­ter makes an eval­u­a­tion of cur­rent behav­ior, a plan of action to change unde­sired behav­ior  is deter­mined and the slave makes a com­mit­ment fol­low the plan of action.

The major  part of “choice deci­sion”  involves a slave com­ing  to terms with and learns to accept that she is a slave.  Part of this accep­tance of slav­ery is that her choices in life now belong to her Mas­ter.  Her “free­dom of choice” becomes the prop­erty of her Master.  Her choice options are lim­ited to mak­ing a choice  to obey her Mas­ter.  Fail­ure to choose obe­di­ence will result in a  log­i­cal con­se­quence that will fol­low such as  pun­ish­ment and/or addi­tional dis­ci­pline training.

In the begin­ning, a slave will have to con­sciously grant her mas­ter her choices each time she is given  an order  or her choices are restricted.  As time passes, the grant­ing of choices to her Mas­ter becomes eas­ier for her and will become sec­ond nature.   At this point, grant­ing a mas­ter her choice becomes part of her being and natural.

Sim­ply mak­ing a deci­sion to grant­ing her Mas­ter all her choices does not mean that train­ing is not nec­es­sary. The  major goal of slave train­ing is to reed­u­cate and reori­ent the slave to bet­ter serve, obey and please her Mas­ter.  Dis­ci­pline train­ing and pun­ish­ment may be nec­es­sary to develop the slave. Pun­ish­ment may be imposed for dis­pleas­ing her Mas­ter as is praise used when she pleases him.  Con­trol­ling a slaves body is com­prised of con­trol­ling her space, time, phys­i­cal actions, pri­vacy and rela­tion­ships with oth­ers and dis­ci­pline train­ing can be devel­oped for each area.

Ele­ment of a  “Choice deci­sion” in slave train­ing when com­pared to com­mon state­ments about choices:

• Behav­ior is cho­sen as a way to deal with frus­tra­tion and improv­ing life.  A slave’s behav­ior is based upon com­pli­ance to her Master’s choices. Improv­ing her slav­ery is always geared to obe­di­ence and obe­di­ence is com­pli­ance to her Master’s decisions.
• All behav­ior is a mat­ter of choice.  A slave makes a deci­sion to grant her Mas­ter the abil­ity to inter­ject his choices when­ever he wishes.  Her behav­ior, for the most part,  is a result of the choices her Mas­ter makes.
• Peo­ple  choose to behave in a way that improves a relationship.  This is only accom­plished by obey­ing, serv­ing and pleas­ing her mas­ter.  That means he makes the deci­sions as to how she behaves.
• Our brain is a mon­i­tor­ing sys­tem and we choose from a wide range of actions, one par­tic­u­lar action when con­fronted with a par­tic­u­lar event.  This gen­eral state­ment is not always true for a slave.  The  major dif­fer­ence is that a slave may be required to not make a choice her­self, but fol­low the deci­sion of her Mas­ter when con­fronted with a par­tic­u­lar action or event.  The deci­sion is his, her duty is to follow.
• Behav­ior is inter­nally moti­vated and chosen.  For a slave, the inter­nal moti­va­tion is to obey, serve and please her Mas­ter, there­fore a slaves behav­ior is not always cho­sen by her.  It may be inter­nally moti­vated but exter­nally chosen.
• The slave makes choices to obey and give her free­doms to her Mas­ter.  What she chooses deter­mines her rela­tion­ship with her Master.   This is  where she makes a deci­sion to become a slave and this involves a “choice deci­sion”.   Only be doing so will  the rela­tion­ship between Mas­ter and slave deepen.

“Choice deci­sion” states that a slave will choose to change her behav­ior when:

1. her present behav­ior is not pro­duc­ing what her Mas­ter wants, and
2. when she believes that the choice of a dif­fer­ent behav­ior will get her closer to the goals that have been set for and adopted by her.

As part of her “Choice decision” a slave must accept the loss of free­doms, power, and con­trol and relin­quish them to her Mas­ter. It is nat­ural for a slave in BDSM slave train­ing to resist or have a reac­tance to a loss of free­dom.  After all, she is giv­ing up her right to make a choice.   This means accept­ing that she is yield­ing more of her­self and  trust­ing some­one else enough to make choices for her.  The level at which she is will­ing or able to give her free­doms to her Mas­ter is directly tied to the increased level of trust she has in her Mas­ter.   She will come to real­ize that  their is no sense in becom­ing upset with what she can’t control.

The Mas­ter need not lis­ten very long to com­plain­ing, blam­ing or crit­i­ciz­ing.  These are the three most inef­fec­tive behav­iors in our behav­ior reper­toire.  If a Mas­ter has the power to choose her actions,  then he is respon­si­ble for what he choose.  He is  also respon­si­ble for the con­se­quences of that choice.  The Mas­ter had made the choice  as to how he wishes his slave to behave and the slave’s duty is to obey.  He has taken respon­si­bil­ity for her behavior.

The giv­ing of free­doms is con­sen­sual and usu­ally accom­plished in steps.   In the first step, she must make a deci­sion as to which is more impor­tant to her, free­dom or slav­ery.   If slav­ery is the answer,  then she will accept the loss of free­dom, then the fear will sub­side and she will find peace and calm­ness in the deep­en­ing of her slav­ery.  The sat­is­fac­tion of accom­plish­ment she feels when she yields to her Mas­ter and finds her inner peace and des­tiny makes the choice a valid one and aids in her over­all development.

When a slave makes a “Choice deci­sion” she should focus on gain­ing aware­ness of cur­rent total behav­ior and have a  wil­i­ness to change it to please her Mas­ter.  Accep­tance and aware­ness helps develop a pos­i­tive self-image.

Major ques­tions a slave should ask as part of devel­op­ing her skills to grant her choices to her Mas­ter are:

1. Does your present behav­ior have a rea­son­able chance of pleas­ing your Mas­ter and tak­ing you in the direc­tion you want to go?
2. What are you doing now to deepen your slavery?
3. Is what you are doing help­ing or hurting?
4. Is what you are doing against the rules
5. How com­mit­ted are you to chang­ing your life and becom­ing a slave and how is this behav­ior help­ing you achieve that?”
6. Who are you and what is your part in this relationship?
7. Who do you serve?
8. What free­doms, power, and author­ity have you given to your Mas­ter and which ones are you hold­ing onto?
9. What are you gain­ing by hold­ing these free­doms, pow­ers and authority?
10. What is the cor­rect choice to make in order to deepen your slavery?

An effec­tive tech­nique to estab­lish con­trol of a slave’s choices is for a Mas­ter to iden­ti­fies spe­cific ways for his slave to serve, obey and please him, there­fore help­ing her ful­fill the desire to obtain slav­ery.   This iden­ti­fi­ca­tion should con­tain cur­rent behav­ior prac­tices, a plan of pos­i­tive changes that requires action on the slave’s part and be sim­ple to follow.  This allows the slave to reflect upon choices she has given to her Mas­ter and define areas that need improvement.

The deci­sion a slave makes to allow her Mas­ter to own her choices is key to her development.

“Choice deci­sion” is an adap­ta­tion from Real­ity Ther­apy for slave train­ing.  Real­ity Ther­apy when applied to ther­apy is referred to as Choice Ther­apy.  It is a cog­ni­tive exam­i­na­tion of the rea­sons we behave as we do and a method of cor­rect­ing behav­ior.  The fol­low­ing is how “Choice deci­sion” can be used to deal with resis­tance and par­tic­u­lar behav­ioral prob­lems in slave training.

(adapted from “Real­ity Ther­apy is Action” by William Glasser, MD copy­right 2000, Harper­Collins Publishers)