Image by China Hamilton

First, before you can cre­ate a pos­tive self-image for your slave you must have and dis­play a pos­i­tive self-image your­self.   You must know your­self and be com­fort­able in your own skin.   What you feel can be sensed eas­ily by your slave.

A slave hav­ing a pos­i­tive self image is key to suc­cess­ful slave train­ing and her men­tal health.   Self-image is defined as the way in which we view our­selves.  It’s the con­scious view of our self and a self-evaluation of our lives.  A per­son can have a neg­a­tive self-image based upon a pri­vate logic that involves faulty think­ing.  A Mas­ter dur­ing early slave train­ing must make efforts to under­stand the cur­rent state of a slave self-image and if nec­es­sary estab­lish meth­ods to develop a more pos­i­tive self image.

Self-image is one of the 4 major areas in the B.E.S.T. slave train­ing con­cept.  Adler described pri­vate logic instead of self-image in his writ­ings.  The two terms are sim­i­lar but pri­vate logic is, at least, for the pur­pose of these writ­ings a broader term.

Pri­vate logic an slave training

Pri­vate logic is a person’s unique eval­u­a­tion of self, oth­ers, and the world, (per­sonal envi­ron­ment) and what is required by you of them and what is required of them by you.  It is a self-philosophy that ones entire lifestyle is based upon.  Pri­vate logic is based upon con­vic­tions which are not usu­ally in aware­ness. Both the sub­con­scious and the con­scious are included in our pri­vate logic.

Pri­vate logic deter­mines the type of lifestyle we live.

Con­flicts arise when pri­vate logic does not agree with social aspects of our lives.   A slave must feel in har­mony with the envi­ron­ment in order to be suc­cess­fully serv­ing her Mas­ter in a long-term rela­tion­ship. Her Mas­ter must chal­lenge the pri­vate logic of his slave if there is a con­flict.  See,  slave train­ing is not always fun and games. slave train­ing can involve prob­ing the inner mind and devel­op­ing pos­i­tive attitudes.

A slave must have a pos­i­tive self-image in her slav­ery.  A pos­i­tive self-image that dis­plays accep­tance of her slav­ery frees her to expand her world and have a feel­ing of belong­ing and joy.

Core beliefs are the basis of her self-image.  Often self-image will greatly effect the emo­tions expressed by an event.   Responses often change the same event depend­ing on the growth of self-image.  One can become emo­tional over an event and still have no great inter­nal tur­moil, if you have a pos­i­tive self-image.

A pos­i­tive self-image occurs when a slave’s core beliefs are to accept and enjoy the learned behav­iors required to serve, obey and please her Mas­ter.   She is at peace in her slav­ery and it feels nat­ural to her.   The slave devel­ops a sense of belong­ing to her Mas­ter.  The slave  has learned to let go of neg­a­tive ideas and feel­ings about being the prop­erty of another and feel­ing con­nected to her Mas­ter through her slav­ery.  She has expe­ri­enced the restric­tions of slav­ery and they have become part of her being.  She sees that she pleases her Mas­ter by her ser­vice and accepts that a slave is judged by her ser­vice.   She is owned but does not own and knows her hap­pi­ness lies in this.  She is the prop­erty of her Mas­ter. This is all part of slave training.

One of the keys to devel­op­ing a slave’s  pos­i­tive self-image is her lack of pri­vacy in hid­ing thoughts and emo­tions from her Mas­ter.    Not allow­ing behav­ioral pri­vacy and explain­ing what is expected of her and rein­forc­ing her for reveal­ing enter thoughts and feels are the best meth­ods for devel­op­ing openness.  

Exam­ples of meth­ods used to con­trol or change imagery dur­ing slave training:

• Hyp­no­sis
• Rewards and encouragement
• Dis­cus­sions
• Ego strength­en­ing
• Pos­i­tive imagery — The pic­tur­ing of a pos­i­tive image in your mind or pic­tur­ing act­ing correctly.
• Goal rehearsal & cop­ing skills — prac­tic­ing the goals that are set by the Master.

Prob­a­bly the sin­gle best method of improv­ing self-image in a slave is telling her when she is pleas­ing you with her behav­ior.  pos­i­tive rein­force­ment is a huge part of  slave train­ing.   It builds her self-image if dur­ing slave train­ing you tell her when she is doing good.

A slave can have a set of unre­al­is­tic bench­marks for what she believes is a pos­i­tive self-image.   This could include money, pos­ses­sions, and other things that are val­ued in cur­rent cul­ture.  Sat­is­fac­tion and pride can come from social inter­est and a con­nec­tive­ness with her Mas­ter.   The will­ing­ness to serve, obey and please for the ben­e­fit of her Mas­ter can pro­vide not only life-long self-esteem, but earn a slave the esteem and appre­ci­a­tion of her Master.

Often the root of what con­sti­tutes the slave’s self-esteem needs to be exam­ined.  Chal­leng­ing the slave’s thoughts about her­self and encour­age­ment are important.  

Below is a list of com­mon types of thoughts that a Mas­ter may wish to keep in mind as he improves his slave’s self-image.   A neg­a­tive self-image is based upon thoughts that affect her emotions.  

Pos­i­tive Thought to change self-image from  pos­i­tive self image read­ing to under­stand how it applies in slave trainingl

• Avoid Extremes 
  Cor­rect the inter­nal voice thank thinks in extreme, espe­cially when it is neg­a­tive. Exam­ple: (“I always make mis­takes)”    No one “always” does anything.  
• Stop think­ing nega­tive thoughts
  Some­times putting a stop on neg­a­tive think­ing is as easy as that. The next time you start giv­ing your­self an inter­nal brow­beat­ing, tell your­self to “stop it!” If you saw a per­son yelling insults at another per­son, you would prob­a­bly tell them to stop. Why do you accept that behav­ior from yourself?
• Accen­tu­ate the pos­i­tive.
  Instead of focus­ing on what you think are your neg­a­tive qual­i­ties, accen­tu­ate your strengths and assets.
• Accept flaws and being human.
  All peo­ple have flaws and make mis­takes. They’ve for­given them­selves; so can you.
• Accept imper­fec­tions.
  Per­fec­tion is a high goal to aim for — you don’t need to start there or even end there.  Allow your­self to make mis­takes and then for­give your­self. Try laugh­ing instead of criticizing.
• Don’t bully your­self!
  “Should have, could have, would have…” Try not to con­stantly sec­ond guess your­self, crit­i­cize your­self for what you “should” have done bet­ter, or expect too much from yourself.
• Replace crit­i­cism with encour­age­ment.
  Instead of nag­ging or focus­ing on the neg­a­tive (in your­self and oth­ers), replace your crit­i­cism with encour­age­ment. Give con­struc­tive criticism
• Don’t feel guilty about things beyond your con­trol.
  You are not to blame every time some­thing goes wrong or some­one has a prob­lem. Apol­o­giz­ing for things and accept­ing blame can be a pos­i­tive qual­ity, if you are in the wrong and if you learn and move on. But you shouldn’t feel respon­si­ble for all prob­lems or assume you are to blame when­ever some­one is upset.
• Don’t feel respon­si­ble for every­thing.
  Just as every­thing is not your fault, not every­thing is your respon­si­bil­ity. It’s okay to be help­ful, but don’t feel the need to be all things (and do all things) for all people.
• Do feel respon­si­ble for your feel­ings.
  You cre­ate your own feel­ings and make your own deci­sions. Peo­ple and events may have an affect on your emo­tions, but they can’t dic­tate them.
• Treat your­self kindly.
  Peo­ple often feel more com­fort­able treat­ing them­selves in ways they wouldn’t con­sider treat­ing oth­ers. Do you crit­i­cize your­self with terms like “stu­pid” “ugly” or “loser”? Would you use those terms to describe a friend?
• Give your­self a break.
  You don’t need to be all things to all peo­ple or please every­one. Give your­self per­mis­sion to decide you’re doing the best you can
• Look at the brighter side of things.
  You can choose how to inter­pret com­ments and events, so try for the more pos­i­tive interpretations.
• For­give and for­get.
  Try not to hang on to painful mem­o­ries and bad feel­ings — this is a sure­fire way to encour­age neg­a­tive thoughts.
• Focus on what you CAN do, not what you can’t.