The Dis­grun­tled Sub­bie Syn­drome (DSS)

From the House of GhostWolf

 Writ­ten by heartsdesire{GW}1st girl

 The Dis­grun­tled Sub­bie Syn­drome   (or It’s Not My Fault…..He’s Just a Bad Master)

The dis­grun­tled sub­bie syn­drome is a mal­ady that occurs to sub­mis­sives when a D/s rela­tion­ship doesn’t work out and they need some­one to blame. There is also the dis­grun­tled Dom/me syn­drome, but it’s far less com­mon. For pur­poses of this nar­ra­tive I’m going to use the mas­cu­line for the Dom­i­nant and the fem­i­nine for the sub­mis­sive. This tale also takes place in a polyamourous set­ting. This is meant to enter­tain and offend no one or everyone.

It goes like this:

In the early stages of the rela­tion­ship the sub­mis­sive in ques­tion is attracted to a poly Dom­i­nant for what­ever rea­sons and decides to tell Him that yes, she’ll give poly a try “for Him”. So, with that con­ces­sion implic­itly given by the sub­mis­sive, a cycle of expec­ta­tions begins. The Dom­i­nant expects her to do her best to learn the rules and makes those rules clear, and begins to incor­po­rate her into His exist­ing Fam­ily. The sub­mis­sive “expects” cer­tain things because in her mind she has already given up much by lov­ing Him so much or being so attracted to Him and admit­ting that to Him, and so “she” is in essence “shar­ing” Him with His exist­ing Fam­ily!!! Of course, all this con­jec­ture is gen­er­ally unknown to the Dom­i­nant until it gets thrown in His face at the end. In this writer’s hum­ble opin­ion the end is already near.

Now, what we have here is a case of Dis­grun­tled Sub­bie Syn­drome wait­ing to hap­pen, and sadly an already doomed D/s rela­tion­ship. What we also have here is a sub­mis­sive who is going to go to great lengths to have things her way and make all par­ties, includ­ing her­self, mis­er­able. Why you might ask??? Because she feels she is more than enough for Him and He really will give up His polyamourous life once He sees the light….in her of course! Mov­ing right along, keep in mind that our sub­mis­sive has now con­fessed to want­ing to be with the Dom­i­nant, so much so that she has con­ceded to (in her mind) these less than ideal cir­cum­stances. The Dom­i­nant includes her in His Fam­ily set­ting. Watch­ing to see the inter­ac­tions, the learn­ing process, look­ing for the har­mony or lack thereof that this new one brings. For the sub­mis­sive this is a double-edged sword. She is happy to be get­ting the atten­tion of a sub­mis­sive in train­ing under this Dom­i­nant she cares for so much, and being included in the most pri­vate areas of His life…but at the same time she is very unhappy to find her­self in a sit­u­a­tion where she has lit­tle say so, and worst of all, she has to bear see­ing Him pay atten­tion to His oth­ers!! Oh woe is our poor dis­grun­tled sub­bie. She dis­counts the fact that she is untrained in the ways of His House (her ways are bet­ter any­way, He’ll see), she hates to see her sis­ters serv­ing “her” Dom­i­nant. She feels inad­e­quate or more to the point, feels she could some­how do things bet­ter, OR at worst, would never do any of those things in a mil­lion years!!

Of course, when the trainee sub­mis­sive does get the oppor­tu­nity to serve “her” Dom­i­nant, she does it badly or wrong…usually on pur­pose. Her poor per­for­mance accom­plishes one or two things…The Dom­i­nant (now please note He’s “her” Dom­i­nant) notices and cor­rects her behav­ior or notices and the sub­mis­sive blames it on her sis­ters set­ting a bad exam­ple!! Either or both ways puts the sub­mis­sive in the spot­light, right where she wants to be. While the rest of the House looks aghast and askance. What I’ve failed to men­tion up to now, is that the Dom­i­nant in this tale is a Mas­ter and the sis­ters are slaves. Not that this puts any hard­ship on our sub­mis­sive, since she is not a slave, rather a very good sub­mis­sive and feels in that she is some­how bet­ter and above the indig­ni­ties of her slave sis­ters. All the while not­ing that her House sis­ters are very dig­ni­fied, proud, well behaved, filled with self-esteem and beau­ti­ful. Of course she never admits this out loud because deep in her heart she just knows that her years in the BDSM Com­mu­nity and her love for “her” Dom­i­nant will pre­vail and even­tu­ally He will see HER!! And give up His estab­lished Fam­ily for her alone.

Well, right about now the Dom­i­nant really is see­ing HER!! And not much lik­ing what He sees. The sub­mis­sive thinks with all her years of expe­ri­ence that every­thing is going well (for her), since she thinks her machi­na­tions have gone unde­tected. She whee­dles away to get “her” Dom­i­nant out pub­licly, to show Him off and to prove what she’s been telling her friends all along, that He’s with her only.

She is prov­ing to Him how won­der­ful it will be when it’s just Him and her…ALONE!! This is a manip­u­la­tion tech­nique used by our ever valiant sub­bie to show the Dom­i­nant how He really doesn’t need any­one but her and to show her friends how much more He must care for her since He didn’t bring any of the oth­ers out. What doesn’t usu­ally get said is that she manip­u­lated the out­ing so she made cer­tain she was the only one avail­able!! On a cheer­ful note, most expe­ri­enced Dom­i­nants will only fall for this sub­terfuge ONCE.

So, our belea­guered Dom­i­nant is finally real­iz­ing there’s trou­ble in par­adise, and our ever valiant sub­mis­sive is get­ting deeply dis­grun­tled. Seek­ing to cor­rect the abhor­rent behav­ior of the sub­mis­sive in train­ing the Dom­i­nant uses His tried and true method of “good girls get spanked, bad girls get ignored”. The sub­bie, being ignored, is plot­ting away, enlist­ing the aid of friend and foe in a des­per­ate attempt to fig­ure out why her manip­u­la­tions are no longer work­ing. Never real­iz­ing that her manip­u­la­tions didn’t ever work, and are now becom­ing tire­some and prob­lem­atic. What she’s not doing is intro­spec­tion. What she’s not doing is get­ting off her per­sonal agenda and onto the Dominant’s (no longer “her” Dom­i­nant) pro­gram. What she IS doing is whin­ing to any­one and everyone….“what’d I do wrong???? Why doesn’t He love MEEEeeeee?????”.

This is the point where our Dom­i­nant loses His end­less patience and does His best to exit the rela­tion­ship with some sem­blance of dig­nity for all con­cerned and offers to remain friends. Will the sub­mis­sive allow this??? Nope. Why?? Because she’s already deep in the throws of the Dis­grun­tled Sub­bie Syn­drome and the only cure is to totally give in to the mani­a­cal urge prove “some­thing” to everybody.

Instead of admit­ting that she can’t or won’t be able to deal with this par­tic­u­lar Dom­i­nant under His par­tic­u­lar set of cir­cum­stances, she sets out to prove to Him and the world at large that she can be a slave…no she IS a slave!!!…she is, she is, she IS a slave…and there­fore now wor­thy again of His atten­tions. Mean­while, whis­per­ing to all and sundry that the slaves in “that House” are such and such…and “her” Dom­i­nant is not a Dom­i­nant let alone a Mas­ter at all.

And so faith­ful reader, it ends…it ends badly. With many hurt feel­ings and looks of bewil­der­ment for A/all involved. And there are lots more peo­ple involved by now than this writer could have imag­ined!! All because one stub­born sub­mis­sive was told exactly what the rules for a par­tic­u­lar Dominant’s House were and she agreed to work within those set boundaries….all the while keep­ing her own per­sonal agenda of wants, needs, desires and absolutely MUST HAVES, a secret for all to know except the Dom­i­nant she pro­fessed to want to serve!!! Sadly the com­mu­nity becomes involved because of her hys­ter­ics, and the Dom­i­nant takes the fall, as she knew He would, because He is hon­or­able and won’t sink to gos­sip and innuendo.

He is now a “bad Mas­ter”, because she didn’t get things HER way. So goes the Dis­grun­tled Sub­bie Syn­drome. All Dom­i­nants should be aware of and watch for this!! It’s highly con­ta­gious and if Your sub­mis­sive or slave is exposed even briefly to one afflicted with DSS (Dis­grun­tled Sub­bie Syn­drome), she will sud­denly have a whole new set of “I wants, I needs,” and con­tract nega­tions for You to deal with. So please, I’m beg­ging You A/all…do what can be done to stamp out this dreaded dis­ease. Open and con­stant com­mu­ni­ca­tion is the key.

Not only lis­ten to what is said, look for actions to fol­low up those words Y/you think Y/you heard or said. If Your sub/slave or you Dom/Master/Mistress is telling every­one but Y/you what’s wrong with your relationship…then there’s a ram­pant case of DSS (Dis­grun­tled Sub­bie Syn­drome) at large in your community!!!!

This mis­sive is inten­tion­ally humor­ous. Any resem­blance to per­sons liv­ing or dead is purely coin­ci­den­tal. (Unless of course you rec­og­nize yourself)

Thanks for reading.

Author: heartsdesire{GW} — 1st girl