An arti­cle about the mas­ter or owner in the bdsm lifestyle and  slave train­ing. Master/owner of a slave

The Ideal Master/Owner
an arti­cle writ­ten by mb
for B.E.S.T. slave training

The Ideal Master/Owner and slave trainer in the BDSM Lifestyle

I read the arti­cle on ‘The Per­fect Slave with great interest.

How­ever, since BDSM is con­sen­sual, masters/owners must work to keep their prop­erty happy. It is not enough to train a slave accord­ing to his or her wont; the slave/property’s needs and desires must be taken into account.

1. The ideal mas­ter is one who is inter­ested in learn­ing the psy­chol­ogy of his prop­erty. He (we’ll use ‘he’ because of the dynam­ics of this site) wants to under­stand how his prop­erty thinks; not just about how that per­son thinks about slav­ery and submission, but about pretty much any­thing that they share. This is impor­tant if the mas­ter wants to have full con­trol over his prop­erty, since if the slave’s thought process is in any way a mys­tery, those thoughts can­not be under his con­trol. Some­times a slave might not inten­tion­ally hide infor­ma­tion from the dom­i­nant but still be unable to artic­u­late some­thing that seems obvi­ous or triv­ial. Under­stand­ing the slave fully, through obser­va­tion, inter­ro­ga­tion, and prior knowl­edge will makes the slave’s motives in all things crys­tal clear.

2. The ideal mas­ter is well-read in a vari­ety of sub­jects and has a quest­ing curi­ous mind. How else can he teach his slave new things or raise the bar of expec­ta­tions if he him­self can­not lead by exam­ple? This will also keep bore­dom set­ting in for the slave over the long term, as they learn new things together.

3. The ideal mas­ter has a sense of humor. He should be able to see the absur­dity in many sit­u­a­tions, includ­ing the master/slave rela­tion­ship itself. It is no longer pos­si­ble to legally own peo­ple in the US, and ante­bel­lum slav­ery was a hor­ri­ble thing that destroyed fam­i­lies and souls. With­out a sense of humor, it is easy for a mas­ter to become con­vinced that his own­er­ship is both real and immutable, which can lead to emo­tional and even phys­i­cal abuse.

4. The ideal mas­ter is capa­ble of flex­i­bil­ity. He under­stands that in order for a rela­tion­ship to grow and stay fresh, the dynam­ics may change over time. This was true for real-life slave­own­ers who were sex­u­ally inti­mate with their slaves, and it is true of mod­ern peo­ple who believe they have spir­i­tual own­er­ship over another. With­out flex­i­bil­ity, the slave may become emo­tion­ally crip­pled, and the mas­ter may end up alone.

5. The ideal mas­ter plans for the future. Life con­tains many tri­als, includ­ing sick­ness, divorce and death. If a mas­ter is in a poly rela­tion­ship with a mar­ried slave, he must plan for if that slave gets a divorce. If he is mar­ried to his slave and she has been kept at home, he should plan for an equi­table sep­a­ra­tion of assets in case of a divorce, and for his prop­erty to be capa­ble of hold­ing down a job on her own. Since slaves and mas­ters can become ill, an ideal mas­ter should plan for con­tin­gen­cies such as health care; and again, a mas­ter should always assume that at some point the slave will have to become the pri­mary bread­win­ner in the house­hold. Keep­ing a slave igno­rant of finances, ren­der­ing her inca­pable of think­ing for her­self, or low­er­ing her self-esteem to the point where she is inca­pable of hold­ing a job is cruel, self­ish, and short sighted. Like­wise, own­ers can die sud­denly. There should be con­tin­gency plans in place so that the slave can start a new life while griev­ing, with­out hav­ing to find a new mas­ter to pick up the slack.

6. The ideal mas­ter is capa­ble of love. It is not wrong to love a slave, but it might change the dynam­ics of the rela­tion­ship. He might decide to stop shar­ing her, or to break off sex­ual rela­tions with other slaves. If she is to become his pri­mary or sole sex part­ner, he should con­sider things like birth con­trol, and what they should do if his prop­erty becomes preg­nant. Such a mas­ter would need to be more cog­nizant of his slave’s new feel­ings and thoughts regard­ing love, jeal­ousy, and faith­ful­ness. He should not see love as a weak­ness, but sim­ply another way of being.

7. The ideal mas­ter can admit that he is wrong. He is also will­ing to lis­ten care­fully to a slave’s sug­ges­tions and advice, even though he is the one who will make the final deci­sion. On impor­tant mat­ters, he must care­fully way what is best for every­one involved, since he is respon­si­ble for more than one human life. In real­ity, a mas­ter is more like a king of a very small king­dom, than a real life owner of human flesh. Real slave own­ers do not have to be con­cerned with the well-being of slaves, since the slaves are bound by law and cus­tom to never leave. Real mas­ters can rape and even kill their slaves, put them in dan­ger, deny them a liv­ing or even food and dam­age their prop­erty if it suits them, but a sex­ual mas­ter can­not and should not ever do so.

8. The ideal mas­ter can antic­i­pate the needs and desires of his slave, even though he may choose whether or not to give into her desires on a reg­u­lar basis. He should also not inter­fere with any­thing that will cause her to lose her job, her stand­ing in the com­mu­nity, her chil­dren, or her fam­ily and friends, even if they dis­ap­prove of BDSM. This goes back to no. 5. It is emo­tion­ally unhealthy for a slave to become so depen­dent on her mas­ter that she loses all out­side pos­i­tive con­tact. A mas­ter who is so self­ish that he would humil­i­ate or den­i­grate his slave in such a fash­ion that it would cause undue fric­tion between her­self and her exter­nal sup­port sys­tem is not a true mas­ter, but a cow­ard with no self-control or self-respect. He is lit­tle more than a nar­cis­sist or a sociopath.

9. The ideal mas­ter does not see his slave as infe­rior to him­self. He is not look­ing for a door­mat, an abuse vic­tim, or help­less co-dependent. Because he sees her as wor­thy of his atten­tion, affec­tion, and pos­si­bly even his love, her can take advice from her on mat­ters where she is knowl­edge­able, sound her out on mat­ters of impor­tance, and trust that she can take care of them both if it is nec­es­sary. The ideal mas­ter is a prin­ceps, a primus inter pares, a first among equals. A supe­rior man is only inter­ested in shar­ing his life with a supe­rior woman who is not weak-willed and who presents a chal­lenge. It is not worth break­ing some­one down if that per­son is not wor­thy of being built back up. Her strength is his strength, since it is the gift that she offers to him, along with her body.

sub­mit­ted by:
mb

A con­tribut­ing arti­cle for B.E.S.T. slave train­ing guide by mb,  all rights are reserved by her and this website.