One of the things a new master does not always understand is that a slave chooses to be dominated and her personal freedom comes from enslavement. She is not happy making all the decisions and doing everything “her way”. She craves and needs a master’s guidance and control. She is free to be herself when enslaved. Some of you may have notices in the past that a slave may actually calm down and relax with she is stripped of freedom. she feels she is home when the feels her master’s control all around in her.
her freedom comes from being owned
This is not always easy for her to accept that she needs enslaved but with time she will see where her happiness lies. She feels it but does not always understand why. Often a master’s disciplne even if harsh puts her at ease and puts her in into a sense of peace. There is a calmness in being owned that the vanilla world will not understand.
In the beginning she may test her master to see if he is strong enough to actually control her and give her what she needs. Disciple is far easier for her to take than no control of a Master’s hand.
This is a subject I often take time to explan to a new master. He can move ahead and control her, guide her, set rules, set protocols, do position training and she will accept. She may be frustrated but often that is because she does not do it correctly in the beginning. As a master set your goals and don’t second guess youself. She wants your leadership and control.
Folks, this is intended to be a loving relationship based on trust between consenting adult. Anything else is abuse and not what this website is about. In fact it is not what the BDSM lifestyle is about. Torture to obtain submission is has no place in the lifestyle and a violation of law.
The slave’s Vessel - A slave is trained to serve her master in the daylight as well as in his bed at night. Her domestic or other service is essential to the success of their lives. Every slave needs a vessel which she can fill and serve her master
She serves, obeys and pleases her master. Not every act of service needs to be ordered by her Master. She just knows the vessel is empty and fills it for her Master.
I write this under the direction of my Master. It was in a conversation we had today discussing how I have grown, where I have come from, and where I am today that I am instructed to write this post. I do not submit that I know everything, or know it all, because that is far from the case, in this or any other matter. However, I speak from experience, insight, gut wrenching intuition and an understanding of my slavery
Two years ago (or in that vicinity of time) I sent an email to Master outlining my heart, my life, my fears, and my nightmares. I was always expected to be the strong, independent, capable woman, and although I do that with ease in my day to day life, I knew there was a part of me that was not complete. And it was in that first email that I shared those thoughts and feelings.
Loyalty if a polyamorous Master/slave relationship is complex and different for a Master than his slave’s because of the very nature of the relationship.
Trust and a feeling of belonging are necessary to allow loyalty to grow. You become loyal to someone you feel a connection to.
It is the Master’s responsibility to build the feeling of belong in a submissive to foster her loyalty to him, the polyamorous Master/slave relationship and the other slave. The master assumes the burden of building and protecting his slaves’ loyalty. This is not easy because everyone has conflicting loyalties. An example would be the loyalty to a friend can conflict with loyalty to family or a principle.
“The scholar does not consider gold and jade to be precious treasures, but loyalty and good faith.” – Confucius
In his book “It’s Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy” Commander Michael Abrashoff says that personal trust is like a bank. You need to make trust deposits often and let it build up quantity and interest. He points out that as events happen in life, you may well need to spend some of this trust so you need reserves. Spend the trust wisely and save it for emergencies.
This may well be true in slave training. The slave girl you are training may react the wrong way to a training step you take or you might just make a stupid mistake were extra trust in the bank will help.
It is nice to have trust in the bank to spend when that happens.
Trust In a Master/slave relationship
Often the big key to successful slave training is based on the amount of trust she has in her Master.
What composes this “Bank of Trust” that she has is her belief that he has the knowledge and skills to train her correctly, keep her physically and emotionally safe, accepts ownership of her as a slave girl once trained, will structure service to make her useful and productive and has stability in his on life. With this foundation trust can be deposited in the bank.
Trust Bankruptcy in slave training
Most of us that’s been around for a while has seen those spend more trust than they have and spend it to quickly. If you overspend the relationship it is most likely over. So build a trust fund to spend as needed or when you must.
The foundation for building trust with your slave is communication and honesty. It is also important that a slave know that her body is safe with you during play and you have the skills necessary to play wisely. Mistakes happen so credibility is important so that she does not loose confidence in your skills. She only grows if she trust you.
TRUST in the LIFESTYLE
Most dictionaries say something like trust is “showing or tending to have a belief in a person’s honesty or sincerity; not suspicious.” As a Dominant we do all kinds of suspicious behavior and can cause fear in a slave. We in the lifestyle push trust at times with the type of intense play and mind fuck games we do. But that is our accepted lifestyle. We do dominate and submit in this lifestyle. Limits are pushed and expanded. Not many forms of vanilla relationship trust involves such intense focus and belief. Because of that, it takes time to build. It can be quickly broken as well.
In many cases the lifestyle means a slave can be shared with other dom’s or he can have other slaves. Trust involves accepting you have a useful place in a poly relationship.
Self-trust is also important. You moved into this lifestyle because of inner feelings and believes. The development into a slave can be intense. Trust your needs and desires and know you will develop and grow in slavery.
So be honest (when not doing a mind fuck with your slave :-) ) and keep communication going. If you make a mistake, admit it and move on. Keep trust alive. Oh, a “mind fuck” is not lying to a slave; it’s a form of scene play for those that don’t know.
But of course, any safe word must be pronounced accurately and clearly to be understood. How could a Master possibly know it is your safeword if it is not stated clearly and correctly? You’d just have to keep beating her if it is not stated correctly.
“The name… “Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu”, .. (means) .. “The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the climber of mountains, the land-swallower who travelled about, played his nose flute to his loved one”. At 85 letters, it has been listed in the Guinness World Records as the longest place name.”
It’s that period of “getting to know you” time when we see that seductive dance at its highest and most elegant waltz like period.
That sweet ebb and flow of word movement back and forth with little ways to say things, not unlike triggers that will develop later on, in fact a lot of triggers between a Master and his slave are developed from the earlier dance of courtship.
The signs are watched for by a Master’s trained eye…he listens for that near silent intake of breath, or he watches for her pulse to quicken by simply watching the vein in her neck. Or how she tries not to swallow too hard as she tries in vain not to show he is getting to her so quickly…The subtly in which he gains his knowledge is almost an art form within itself. He looks for those signs as he gently pushes forward, building on that anticipation in her. That quickened pulse is now causing her to slightly part her lips as her breathing quickens, her eyes become smokey and intense, before long there is that tiny little lip nibble when she tries to stifle the slightest of moans. Yes, it is quite a seductive dance. Beautiful in its orchestration. It is that first step towards trust.
The first contact:
Those first few contacts will never go completely from the mind of the slave either. Those things he said, or whispered, those are the things she is going to remember made her react towards him. Her body responded because her mind longs to know what it would feel like to be completely and totally owned by him. His voice is ingrained in her mind already…he knows that at such an early stage just how easy it would be for him to lean in and whisper “Cum for me.” And she probably would…but, a Master worth his weight won’t go there too quickly. Because a Master who isn’t just a player will never go for the quick sex fix. He will build on her anticipation, her trust…he will ease back with talk about everyday things, and then when her eyes are not so smoldering and her heart rate has settled he will begin again…That seductive dance of Master and slave.
This is just a short Tribute to Bettie Page from the 1950′s. it is a look into our past. Lucky for me the pictures were still around in the early to mid-1960′s. Back then you just didn’t see pictures displaying what we now call BDSM.
Ah yes, as a young boy I wanted to spank her. Yes, I know she was carrying the whips in pics or often rope but I wanted to take them away from her use them on her.
Hey, it was a good pastime for a young boy on the farm. Of course, I didn’t know anything about BDSM at the time. I just knew the though of spanking her or whipping her was very appealing to me.
For 10 years B.E.S.T. slave training was ranked on the front page for a Google search result of “slave training.” I was the top site and remain on the front page as others came and went. Not being an expert on Google ranking or SEO I just enjoyed the ride. I knew I was doing something right to be on top. If it was not broke I was not going to fix it.
Then one day in 2012, I started getting hit by Google’s Panda and Penguin penalties. I went from page 1 to page 60 or below. I would recover some ranking only to be hit by another wave. I refused to give in and continued to battle. The major problem is that they will not tell you what caused the problem and you have to research and spend hours correcting. Even after you figure out something that might fix it you have to wait weeks for the change to take effect (or it seems like it anyway).
Well, maybe with all the changes to the website including many behind thes cenes changes my ranking is back to Page 1. Today, I am ranked second from the top on page 1. The Google God’s seem to be happy again with B.E.S.T. The goal is to remain on page one.
This is great for members because it means we are among the very top in Google and Bing ranking and have a much larger audience.
AN ANSWER TO KVLY-TV, VALLEY NEWS LIVE, FARGO, ND AND TO OTHERS.
On 2/4/2014, I received emails informing me that the B.E.S.T. website was discussed on a KVLY-TV, Valley News Live, a local TV News show in Fargo North Dakota. The emails pointed out that the News story focused on abuse and claimed it was part of bdsm culture. They also claim that a domestic violence abusers cult exists there. They also implied this cult used my website as some sort of go-by.
I will try to state my case in a way that can be verified with evidence from other sources not connected with BDSM when possible. In some cases, I will link to them or the actual document on my site that were twisted to fit the news story they want. In addition I will show some willful lies intended to distort facts.
I have no idea why the facts were not verified before the story ran.
major updated on 2/8/14:
I put the summary first because I know the NEW ROOM will not read the whole thing
SUMMARY OF EVIDENCE
EVIDENCE THAT THE NEWS DEPARTMENT AT KVLY-TV LIES AND USED DECEPTION TO CREATE A FALSE STORY.
This is a Short version for KVLY-TV, Valley News Live because I know they will not take the time and energy to read the detailed long version that follows this summary.
SOME MISQUOTES, LIES & DECEPTIONS by the TV STATION
I purchased a target whip for bdsm play this weekend. I already own a 4 foot bullwhip and a 5 foot snake whip, but I really like this new one. I have only been practicing with it and have not used it yet but look forward to seeing the marks it leaves. I do not have a slave’s opinion yet on how it feels.
A bullwhip has a handle, bradded whip, leather fall and popper.
The snake whip does not have the stiff handle but does have the fall and popper normally associated with whips.
A signal whip does not have a handle or leather fall and is more accurate than a snake whip. The signal whip often has a smaller diameter than a bullwhip or snake whip. Many signal whips are stiff. One difference between a snake whip and signal whip is that a signal whip has a braided in cracker (popper) instead of the popper being attached to a fall on a bullwhip.
How BDSM and slave training can be affected by the new version of the DSM-5. What this can mean and what it does not change. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) published a new version of it’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The new version is referred to as the DSM-5. Our interest in the DSM-5 is now it redefines BDSM and to a lesser extent slave training. Sadomasochism is not a disorder if certain triggers are not found in the therapist’s evaluation.
The DSM-5 makes changes that, over time, will have a positive effect on the way the world views B.D.S.M. and slave training. In fact, kinky sex in general will greatly benefit from the changes in wording. To all those in the lifestyle that have taken an active role in helping change the APA’s view from the DSM-I to the DSM-5, THANK YOU!!!
Be Happy with your kink
Prior to the DSM-5, the APA defined sexual behavior acts not solely focused on the genitals or breasts as paraphilias. The word Paraphillas first appears in publication in the DSM-III and is defined as an unusual sex act.
Power of attorney’s and living wills; these are not subjects that many want to think about in a Master/slave relationship. But being a good Master means you consider and manage such matters. The slave girl is your responsibility, and this is part of proper slave management & care.
Both the power of attorneys (POA) and a Will are more relevant for a 24/7 slave than someone you occasionally see. In fact, I would not recommend them if you don’t live with her.
Remember that legal rights are not laid out in a Master/slave contract. A slave contract is NOT legally binding only morally binding between the parties. You must have proper legal documents to exercise legal rights over her affairs. Don’t believe a slave contract will acts as a will or power of attorney, it will not. I would not recommend that you try to include a power of attorney or will in your slave contract. A power of attorney should be a separate document unclouded with the conditions set forth in a typical slave contract.
Keep a POA simple and easy for a court to enforce if needed. Why complicate it for you or the Court? When you need it enforced you probably don’t have time to discuss unrelated issues in the slave contract. Don’t take a chance on voiding the power of attorney, Living Will or Will by including them in an otherwise unenforceable document. Keep it separate. Don’t take a chance.
Power of Attorney and living will: Granting Master authority:
Durable and medical power of attorneys (POA):
There are two types of power of attorney that should be prepared and signed that grants a master legal authority. They are the 1) durable power of attorney and the 2) power to manage medical issues.
Welcome to B.E.S.T. slave training. You will find forums and lots of great information about slave training.
There are many areas on the site. Just explore the menu above. The side is geared to provide an educational resource for the Master/slave relationship. So in that light, slave training is the main focus.