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BDSM scene play negotiations, negotiations before starting a Dominant/submissive relationship and slave training.  The standard BDSM scene play negotiations or Dominant/submissive contract negotiations before the start of a relationship don’t really apply to a Master/slave relationship.  At least, not in the way BDSM scene play negotiations are normally expressed.

BDSM scene play negotiations.  slave on rack

B.D.S.M. scene play

First lets look at what B.D.S.M. scene play negotiations are all about.

Typically two types of negotiations are discusssed on BDSM lifestyle websites:

1) B.D.S.M. scene play Negotiations (meeting for play):

Usually BDSM scene play negotiations determine which one of the players takes on the dominant or submissive roles during play.    BDSM scene play negotiations can also include individual dislikes during play, limitations and boundries for scene play, type of play that will be part of the scene,  how long the scene will last, safe words, how the bottom addresses the Top and any medical issures that either should be aware of.

In general,  the BDSM scene play negotiations is a “what, when, where, why, how, and by whom” agreement.  B.D.S.M scene play negotiations are important when meeting for BDSM play. It sets the rules for the B.D.S.M. play and insures the Top only borrows what control he is allowed to use during the period of play. The Top starts out owning no part of of the bottom and when the play if over the Top still does not own any part of the bottom. It is not about long-term relationships. Often it is about the here and now not the future.  Granted it can be and often is a first step in to a longer relationship.  I don’t  condemn BDSM scene play  negotiations for I see them as very important and necessary.

Many meet to fulfill sadomasochist needs or fantasies and BDSM scene play negotiations helps insure safe and proper S & M play.  Just meeting for BDSM scene play may not be of much interest to me personally but I do see it is important and necessary.  It can often help place the submissive or bottom at ease before engaging in bondage, flogging, whipping or other bdsm scene play.

2) B.D.S.M. Negotiations for a more Perminant Relationshiip (on-line or in person) Dominant/submissive:

 

These are negotiations to determed what freedoms a submissive will present to her Dominant and for what period or time. It is not a Total Power Exchange (TPE) and negotiations are necessary to set limits on just what and when and where and how the submissive surrenders. These negotiation can include living arrangements, visits, domenstic servce, other relationships, length of service, what the submisve does not give to her master, punishment limits, safe words, money arrangements and so on. It is a contract establishing how the Dominant and submissive live together or how the submissive serves part-time or on-line.    It is not a one time meeting for BDSM play.

Although the relationship may well be long-term there are boundaries  built into the relationship. The boundaries are very often laid out in a contract and agreed to by both parties and signed. The point is that the submissive retains some control and the Dominant accepts these limitations on is control.

Master/slave relationship and  BDSM scene play negotiations:

In a Master/slave relationship the slave makes a decision to allow her Master ownership of her choices. In B.E.S.T. that is called a “choice decision. “ she becomes his property and he can make whatever choices he chooses for her. It’s less about negotiation than a slave reaching the reality that if she accepts slavery she loses her freedoms and is owned by her Master. Now of course this is within reason and common sense. No Master/slave relationship should include some actions or probitiions such as abuse of minors, robbery and violent acts. So lets not get way off base and forget reason. We do live in this world and most the culture around you applies and all of its laws still applies to us.

Slavery is surrender of freedoms.  It is not a negotiated arrangement  but unconditional surrender.    A slave contract could rightly say  “I give myself to him and he may do with me as he wishes.”    I have noticed that first time Master/slave contracts are often long and detailed and over time if they’re rewritten become shorter and less structured.   Once you own a slave for a while you realize a very simple document can express your ownership of her.  she is your property and you control her.  That can be easily and clearly stated in a brief document.

It should be noted from a practical side that usually a slave chooses who she surrenders her freedoms to because she feels her morals and attitudes closely match his or she feels he will mold and guide  her to where she needs to be.     Yes she surrenders her freedoms but she most likely chooses a Master she feels safe with and trust before surrender.

Sample BDSM Scene Play Negotiation Form

ROLE: Top___Bottom___Dominant___Submissive___

Male___Female___

Heterosexual___Bisexual___Gay___Lesbian___Transexual___ Pansexual___

Experience: Novice___Intermediate___Advanced___

Pain: Yes Nn

Pain Tolerance

Light pain___

Medium Pain___

Heavy Pain___

Bondage: Yes___ No___

Light Bondage___

Heavy Bondage___

Physical and Medical Limits:

Safe Word:

Fetish’s/Fantasies:

Prohibited play:

When & Where we Meet:

When it will end:

Exchanged safe call information (calls to a friend):

Toys to be use or not use:

Any others involved and how involved:

Sex arrangements:

 

Additional information on BDSM scene play negotiations (Wikipedia)  


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