AN ANSWER TO KVLY-TV, VALLEY NEWS LIVE, FARGO, ND AND TO OTHERS.
On 2/4/2014, I received emails informing me that the B.E.S.T. website was discussed on a KVLY-TV, Valley News Live, a local TV News show in Fargo North Dakota. The emails pointed out that the News story focused on abuse and claimed it was part of bdsm culture. They also claim that a domestic violence abusers cult exists there. They also implied this cult used my website as some sort of go-by.
I will try to state my case in a way that can be verified with evidence from other sources not connected with BDSM when possible. In some cases, I will link to them or the actual document on my site that were twisted to fit the news story they want. In addition I will show some willful lies intended to distort facts.
I have no idea why the facts were not verified before the story ran.
major updated on 2/8/14:
I put the summary first because I know the NEW ROOM will not read the whole thing
SUMMARY OF EVIDENCE
EVIDENCE THAT THE NEWS DEPARTMENT AT KVLY-TV LIES AND USED DECEPTION TO CREATE A FALSE STORY.
This is a Short version for KVLY-TV, Valley News Live because I know they will not take the time and energy to read the detailed long version that follows this summary.
SOME MISQUOTES, LIES & DECEPTIONS by the TV STATION
1) False statement – The news station claimed my website was hidden on the internet and can’t be found on a Google search
MY REPLY: WHAT???? If your reporter can’t do a Google search get some kid to show her how. I work hard to keep my Google rankings as high as I can. It is a constant battle.
A clue for you: The way you tell if a site is listed on Google is to put the name in as a search item. You will find B.E.S.T. listed if you put the name “B.E.S.T. slave training” in and search for it.
If you search “slave training” I am usually on or about page 6. in Google. I can’t help what page ranking Google gives me or what page they put me on. There are probably a 100 Google pages on slave training. Google ranking is erratic and it may be on page 1 to 30 depending on the day you check. It is far from hidden.
IF however you use BING to search instead of Google, you will usually, but not always, find me listed on page 1 for “slave training”.
Yahoo also list me higher then Google for the same search.
How is that hiding?
If you search “BDSM slave training” you will also find me on some place. Because you don’t see me on page one is not a sign of hiding. Just look for it!!
This is an out and out lie and I believe with malice of forethought to alter the viewing public’s mind.
Did anyone at the news department verify any of the material before broadcasting? Did you ever wonder how in the hell anyone found it; if I was hiding it?
2) False statement – They claim my site is not the same as bdsm. (disguised as BDSM lifestyle page, but contains much more malicious content)
REPLY: Where is your proof? I have been to BDSM regional and local events all over and asked in some cases to do presentations. I have never been accused of not being in BDSM or outside the norm. This is the actual BDSM community accepting me not the one you try to invent for your story.
For me to be outside it would mean I advocate something other than safe, sane and consensual practices. If anyone reads my site you will see NO evidence of that claim. In fact you will see many many times the concept of safe, sane and consensual discussed. It is a basic foundation of the site.
Below is a link to the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom ‘s Principles and Guidelines intended to help law enforcement and social services professionals understand the difference between abusive relationships vs. consensual sadomasochism (SM).
You will find if you are honest that my site is within these NCSF guidelines. Only in the imagination of the reporter is it otherwise. Claiming my site supports abuse is simply false.
As additional proof – I have a page devoted to a slave making a Choice Decision. That is when she, of her free will, reaches a decision to give her choices to her master.
Choice Decision is at the foundation of BEST.
IN addition I discuss in many places how Trust is important. Why in the hell would I care about a slave trusting her Master before you can train her if I advocate brute force. You would not care about trust or consent, you’d just use force. Abuse and forcing against the will are no where implied about B.E.S.T.
This is a subject that was among the first I had when writing B.E.S.T. I opened the topic up for public discussion and review in the bdsm community 12 years ago before writing it. In fact, most of the site was opened for peer-review among BDSM Practitioners and educators. Never was it considered non-consensual.
There are many references to Trust on the website but I will be luck if the Newsroom reads this one.
Ok, here is another on if you actually want to know the truth
3) MISQUOTE & FALSE STATEMENT – The reporter claims I advocate creating a low self-image in a slave simply because it is a category of training.
REPLY: The reporter falsely claimed I want to destroy a slave’s self-image. This is easy to prove it’s a lie.
IF you actually read the section on “self-image”, only a fool would come to that conclusion. Who in the world would want a slave with a weak or destroyed self-image. What would be the purpose?
Please ….. will someone in the newsroom read the below link or have someone read it to you.
There are more examples but the Newsroom will never read them.
OK, one more discussion of self-image just in case you can get some outsider to read it to you
Here is a blog post on June 18, 2012
Yes the reporter ignored all the posts and actual words to build her on version of the truth, which is a lie.
Do you think she read it or read into it what she wanted it to say? Where is the fact checkers at the station?
4) MISQUOTE and DECEPTION – The reporter says that I train a slave to have a feeling of “Inferiority” to the master.
REPLY – The reporter “cherry picked” the word “Inferiority” from the Theory page and completely changed the meaning. I believe she did it with intent to cause harm.
The word was misused to create a false and misleading context in order to present a story the way she wanted, instead of the way I said it. This was deceptive.
I don’t expect you at the news station to do the research on this to find the truth, so here is what I said. Have someone read it to the reporter.
WHEN YOU DO READ IT BELOW: PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WORD “INFERIORITY” IS USED AS THE PSYCHIATRIST ADLER USED IT MANY YEARS AGO, NOT AS COMMONLY USED TODAY — AND I TELL YOU THAT ON THE PAGE.
BELOW: I copied and Pasted it here from the THEORY page.
I say about Superiority and inferiority:
The Goal of Superiority vs Inferiority in slave training:
The psyche has as it’s primary objective: The goal of superiority.
Individuals strive toward superiority. Superiority is not defined as we normally think of it. It does not mean that we innately seek to surpass another person in rank or position. In other words, it does not mean that we are feeling superior to someone else. It is defined as “perfection in completing a task” or “wholeness” of the individual. Superiority means becoming good at doing something, accomplishing and improving life. The slave strives for superiority in her slavery and to strengthen the social connection between Master and slave.
****** Adler didn’t consider feelings of inferiority as a sign of weakness but as a “wellspring of creativity” and the source of human determination and striving. Again, the definition of inferiority does not mean what you might think. It is not an inferiority complex or an overall feeling of inferiority to another. *******
Feedings of Inferiority:
Individuals generally feel inferiority because they perceive that they are lacking in one of the following areas: physical condition or limitations, intelligence level, educational level, emotional well being, social environment or financial condition. The striving for superiority is to overcome or improve one or more of the above areas.
Also the feeling of inferiority in one of the areas can be so strong that the individual feels hopeless and fails to even attempt to improve their life. One can also be used to improve one or more of the other areas. For example, a person can strive to obtain a higher educational level in order to improve there social and economic level. In addition, an individual may attempt to compensate for a feeling of inferiority in one area by achieving success or superiority in another area.
Inferiority means that you feel that you can improve an aspect of your life if you become better at a task, knowledge or skill. In other words, you strive to get better at a task you are weak at or have little knowledge of. Accomplishments in life are driven by an effort to overcome inferior feelings and it is our energy source. We strive to make our lives better and have a superior life in the future. Adler believed this energy source was powerful enough to overcome most physical limitations.
The trainee seeks slavery as a means to obtain superiority by acquiring the new role as her Master’s slave. B.E.S.T. slave training considers the energy force for motivation to be the striving for superiority and driven by the desire to overcome inferior feelings. Goals should be set that enable the slave to strive for superior feelings and accomplishment. The core of slave training is for the slave to gain superiority at the tasks, skill and knowledge necessary to serve, obey and please her Master. The driving force is to gain this superiority or overcome an inferiority at a task, skill or requirement.
That has NOTHING to do with a feeling of inferiority as the reporter wants to project. Where does it say that I want to train a slave to feel inferior to her master? Surely someone in the newsroom can read, understand and explain how this differs from the fabricated drama story about “inferiority” the reporter created.
IF you actually read it does it not sound like I want her to feel superior not inferior?
Why did she lie?? Who didn’t check the facts? Did anyone actually read anything but the word “inferiority?”
5) LIE – She claims that I advocate the use of force and abuse in B.E.S.T. – also harps on the words behavior, emotions, self-image and thoughts.
REPLY: This is an out and out lie. No where in the site is the use of force or brutality against the will of another said or implied. I over and over talk about safe, sane and consensual bdsm. Yes, in BDSM bondage, whips, chains, and all sorts of other things are used, but with informed consent.
Yes, I believe that Jane was abused and showed your reporter my site. OK, What ever happened to verification. No where do I advocate what the two of them claim. Where do I say you force a woman to submit?
B.E.S.T. – Changing behavior, emotions, self-image and thoughts is taken from the psychological concept of BASIC-ID. BASIC-ID is not about overpowering with force, nor is B.E.S.T. It is a standard method of changing behavior, emotions, self-image and thinking and it in used in therapy or counseling around the world by psychological professional Counselors.
Why base slave training on a method mostly involving communication (BASIC-ID) if I was advocated force and abuse.
Since B.E.S.T. uses at its core the concept of BASIC-ID then why would abuse and torture be advocated? Oh, if you look on the site I say it was adapted from BASIC-ID. B.E.S.T. is just a way of looking at the human interaction between behavior, emotions, self-image and thinking can change our lives. How do you change THINKING with force?
What BASIC-ID means for counselors and psychologist:
A Affect (emotions)
S Sensation (touch, smell, sight, hearing, taste)
I Imagery (thinking in pictures, self-image)
C Cognition (thinking in words, beliefs, attitudes, opinions, thinking styles)
I Interpersonal (how we relate to others)
D Drugs & biology (medications, substances, diet, exercise, general health, sleep)
I adapted what could be used from BASIC-ID to consensual slave training and shorten it to B.E.S.T.
I state on the site that B.E.S.T. is adapted from BASIC-ID. Look for it. See if the newsroom can at least find one thing.
DID ANYONE READ THE SITE, what about this blog post:
Back in 2012 a guy asked a question about using legal force to keep a slave. If you had read my site you would have seen this post from August 30, 2012 about consensual slavery
READ THE LINK BELOW. NOTHING I’VE WRITTEN ON B.E.S.T. MAKES MY POSITION CLEARER.
Also here is a blog post I wrote on July 24, 2012. NO part of it reads like anything but informed consent. Why would I talk about negotiations if I believed in breaking her will with abuse.
Why would anyone want to do a slave contract laying out all that is agreed to before you start slavery; if it was not consensual.
see slave contracts before.
Negotiations and contracts are acts of consent not force.
Here is an article written by a slave I trained.
How can you read the links above and claim the crap you said. Oh I forget the reporter didn’t read the site. she cherry picked words and added her own meaning.
In addition read the four page links below:
Thoughts sections and see of you can find a single place where B.E.S.T. recommends force against the will of the trainee or torture. That is fiction.
Did anyone read any of the discussions in the Groups and Forums or comments to blogs???? That should be a clue the site is not about abuse but consent. But of course no one read it.
6) Lie to create drama – The reporter said that slave training is not part of bdsm. (It is only disguised as bdsm with malicious intent):
REPLY: Read this link first or have someone read it to you
DID you really NOT know that a huge precent of the BDSM population choose to live it 24/7 instead of just weekend play? They do it as dominant/ subissives or Master/slaves. The slave is not forced into a Master/slave relationship.
B.E.S.T. discusses a 24/7 consensual slave training program where both agree to it and work hard to make it happen for them. Yes, it can be intense but intense and forcing against someone’s will are two different thing.
Years ago, I found that football practice was intense and modified my behavior, emotions, self-image and thoughts but not forced without consent. Yes, slave training in a way can be that intense but always includes informed consent.
Lets try to use a little logic in the news department. You may need outside help for this. But lets try.
If there is an accepted practice of consensual slave training and ownership in BDSM, then don’t you think that it also include modifying her behavior, emotions, self-image and thought to conform to the consensual slavery? She agrees to move from the vanilla world to a world of being owned. How else could it be but by changing her? Modifying all the elements of B.E.S.T. are consensual and within the framework of safe, sane and consensual. You have NO evidence otherwise because there is none.
This training is fully understood in the bdsm community and accepted. It has nothing to do with abuse or force.
Below is a link to an article about emails written to me by a slave. The slave gave me permission to post on my site:
If you do a search of “slave training” you will find many sites involved in bdsm and slave training.
One at the top of the list is trainherwell -dot- blogspot -dot -com/ or just search for “train her well” Of course many are just porn sites but if you search you will find many that explain slave training. . I will not give you a complete laundry list of sites for that is your job to find them.
CONCLUSION for this Summary:
I believe there was a huge failure to verify facts or use common sense in the Newroom. The reporter found a story and believe it and all the drama. She then closed her mind and twisted everything to meet the horrible drama in her imagination or she willfully lied with malice of forethought.
OR is she just that naive about life, But if so, that would mean the station needs to fact check her stories more.
BUT that is not the issue. The question is….. Now & Why did the newsroom allow this to happen? Do you not fact-check? DO you not have reviews? Why was her story not subject to the same reviews I have seen before?
I know that if I presented a document like that, I would have been laughed out of the office and fired because of all the false statements that are so easy to disproved.
MY personal thoughts that are unsupported by evidence: – IF the newsroom is allowed to draw conclusions without facts; I should be afforded the same ability. What is fair for one is fair for the other. So here goes.
Why was she allowed to be unmanaged? Does she have scandalous information on someone in the office? Is she the owner’s daughter? Does no one in the newsroom have the balls to make her stay with the truth? Is she dating or married to the owner or someone of authority? How is this type of false story allowed to air? What is the reason behind them allowing this “National Enquiry” type story to be aired without the facts being checked? There has to be a reason this can happen.
The above assumptions can be easily made since so much of the site was altered to fit her drama story. No one reviewed or cared or you were afraid to force her to tell the truth.
In my opinion, She got what used to be known as a “News hard-on” when she heard of the story. That means she loves the story and was hell bend to broadcast it. The reporter will not check facts as they should just to get it out fast. The goal is airing it now and sorting the facts later. After-all, who brings a lawsuit against a news broadcasting company. Plus the owner of B.E.S.T.is likely afraid to respond, even if he finds out what happened way out here in ND.
When a reporter gets a “news hard-on” common sense should tell supervisors and reviews that they need to review close. That is when facts need to be checked more by the newsroom, NOT less. Or did all of you in the newsroom get a news hard-on with her and fail to do your job.
Shame on the station.
THIS ENDS THE SUMMARY to the TV STATION:
One 2/12/14, I forwarded the above Summary and my Conclusions to many members of the management news staff, anchors and reporters at KVLY-TV, Valley News Live. I am under no elusion it will do any good but at least the truth is easily available to them and their viewers to see.
NOW BELOW IS THE FULL STORY FOR THOSE WILLING TO READ IT
START OF WHOLE DETAILED STUDY OF THE TV STATIONS BROADCAST
3 links to the TV broadcasts:
To the victim:
First let me say I am sorry this happened to the victim in this story. I hope she recovers completely and is able to move on with her life. I hope the husband is punished.
Even with my website being slammed in the News story I find myself in sympathy with her.
On the B.E.S.T. website I explain a method of playing out a consensual bdsm relationship. On the News that was ignored. Forcing someone against their will is not part of the lifestyle or my website. Never has been and never will be!!!
BELOW: I will:
1) explain BDSM and a consensual Master/slave relationship the station ignores, and prove Consensual slavery and my website are part of the BDSM culture
2) show how the reporter twisted my words to invent a new concept outside my intent or purpose and
3) show willful false statements in the story, such as my site can’t be Googled and is hidden away with malicious content.
BDSM in General. (The station ignored or didn’t know this)
The term means B&D (Bondage & Discipline), D&S (Dominance & Submission), and S&M (sadomasochism). BDSM is always practiced with the consent of all involved or it is abuse. Period!!!
B.E.S.T. slave training, as well as many other websites, fall under that general umbrella of practicing safe, sane and consensual bdsm.
BDSM is founded on Consensual behavior and has been practiced everywhere for a long time. BDSM existed long before the internet and is worldwide.
BDSM practitioners insist on consent. You go to any large scale regional meeting where 1000’s attend for a week at a time to conduct classes, and you will find that the outcry is always for sane, safe and consensual behavior. They teach you safe bdsm play. They also teach you to report abuse and help the abused.
Today after the publication of the book “50 shades of Gray” many go to learn what the real lifestyle is about. They seek out existing local groups. No, they will not tell you they go. Who wants to be on the ND nightly news in a drama? It is what they do in their private lives without drama. It is a personal interest. They do it with the consent of all involved. It is a personal choice they made (both dominants and submissives).
If there is a rogue group, other than her husband, afoot in ND breaking bones and using blow torches, then they need to be found and arrested. Even if they use less torture to force compliance against another’s will; they still need arrested. There is no place for that inhumanity in anyones live. Law enforcement should be shown all the details of the alleged crimes and let the chips fall where they may.
Munches & Play Party (again a failure to research)
The woman in the story discussed group meetings and the use of force and abuse against wives. This is far from the norm or expected practice in bdsm. I have never heard of it anywhere in the USA as part of a group. It is also for from the BDSM munch group activities in ND as I understand them to be. There is the remote change of a rogue group, but you need to find it and focus on it, not the general lifestyle.
MYSELF and A FARGO, ND MUNCH GROUP THAT PRACTICES CONSENSUAL BDSM
Before this started I had never had any conversation with any BDSM munch group in ND. They didn’t know me or my website (as far as I can tell, maybe a few knew the website) and I didn’t know them. But now some are worried because of the news report. The BDSM group want to know if an unknown rogue group is hiding among them preying on submisisves. In my opinion, if the rogue group is real they have a reason to worry. Information should be giving to the police by the News station to keep any of their members from being prey to these monsters. Please consider it for public safety. If you have evidence of a crime give it to the police, now!
It is my understanding that there is a small bdsm group in the area but there is also an active swingers group. They are entirely different from each other. Most into BDSM don’t attend swinger parties.
Based solely on the information in the News broadcast, all of us agree that this woman was treated horribly wrong. This is not what the lifestyle is about. If reported accurately by the News station, she suffered domestic abuse. He should be arrested. I hope he has been.
Lets face it; if you know or suspect abuse; report it. If you are receiving this abuse; get out and seek help. This is NOT what this lifestyle is about. Yes, he was an abusive husband and his practices were psychopathic as I understand the term to mean. He masks psychopathic behavior behind a Master /slave lifestyle. That is not the same as being into BDSM. This fool is sick.
YES, abuse exist in America. Abuse is in the BDSM community and throughout our culture. You name a place, and some form of abuse has been found in the past and will again in the future. But this abuse in ND is not BDSM or a consensual Master/slave relationship. Your active community is not into forced abuse of anyone.
You don’t learn psychopathic behavior from a BDSM WEBSITE. I believe that he suffers a extreme sadistic mental illness . His behavior reeks of it. That is not BDSM and never has been.
There will be abuse in the lifestyle. If I said otherwise, it would be a false statement. BUT, NEVER is abuse or force against one’s will acceptable in BDSM or consensual slavery. NEVER !!!
CONSENT in BDSM and SLAVE TRAINING:
All through the website I talk about consensual slavery, and I mean it. The bdsm lifestyle expects it. You can’t do what the report claims happened to this woman and be accepted in any bdsm community. Consensual slavery is a branch of BDSM, not abuse.
You may not like us or understand us, but we are not abusers or promote it. In you imagination you may think so but that is wrong. If consensual slavery is included under the umbrella of BDSM, then how does my site that pushed being safe, sane and consensual contain “malicious content disguised as BDSM? ” I will prove this below.
I am sorry but you don’t get to change the words I say and the definition of BDSM to make a good news story.
I don’t know if the woman attended legitimate bdsm munches and play parties. If anyone in the bdsm lifestyle knew of the abused, she would have been encouraged to leave him. Most likely, someone in the group would have assisted her in leaving him. That is what happens. I have seen it before. No one in the lifestyle that believes and practices safe, sane and consensual BDSM will knowingly accept that abuse among them. These are caring people. These people are from all walks of like, and many are well educated. Many are in the fields of social work, medicine, and other professions.
They are far from the woman described in the story as weak and helpless. Because a man or woman is a submissive or slave does not make her weak and ready for you to destroy her self-image.
LINK Below for the Newsroom:
Just as her doctor didn’t know of abuse or anyone else, those in the BDSM community can’t know (excluding some possible rogue group). The same standard applies to all as applies to the doctor; they are not mind readers. If they knew her, I am positive they are troubled because they didn’t recognize her problems. I would be. How do you expect more of them than you do her Doctor? Again, they are not mind readers.
THE PROOF AGAINT THE REPORTER AND THE STATION MANAGEMENT:
Please NOTE — Twisted statements by the reporter and News Station: I will let you decide why.
An overview of the twisted statements and skillfully selected reporting to lead to a conclusion the TV station wanted to project about B.E.S.T. They did is by ignoring facts.
I don’t know what facts in the story are correct. I do know the reporter misquoted or selectively read to obtain a different meaning than I intended. It is not even a close call. I never want a slave to have a low self-image or be forced into the lifestyle without consent. Nor do I say so on the website. It is a false statement. You can’t fine where I say that,
The reporter says, more or less, that my goal is to reduce or destroy self-image in training. READ FOR YOURSELF. You can read my section on Self-Image and see how it was twisted by the reporter.
Her discussion of “inferiority” as used on the website was also very twisted. I stated clearly that the word “inferiority” is used as it was by Adler many years ago. It is not used on that page as we commonly use it today. I said that to keep readers from drawing the wrong conclusion when they didn’t really read it. That seems to have happened, or it was with malice of forethought misquoted.
You can go to the website yourself under the Theory section and go down the page to “The Goal of Superiority vs Inferiority in slave training” section and read for yourself.
LINK TO THEORY: See Theory page
There you will see how the reporter misquoted the text to imply I said a master wanted his slave to feel inferior. BULL – This is blatantly false and you can be read for yourself. What else in the story did she misquote and why? What is her intent? Where do you start and stop believing her?
From the past, I know how news stories can be exaggerated so changing my meaning is expected by News reporters. That is why you never talk to them in person. You can tell by the reporters voice inflections and outlandish statements that she is milking it for all it is worth. But that is her job.
I don’t have a problem with the reporters telling the details of abuse or even that her abuser, in his madness, displayed his psychopathic & sadistic behavior in the form of a Master/slave relationship. That has happened throughout time and will again.
What I object to is the wild conclusions she has drawn and placed on the general BDSM community in her area and around the world. There seems to be no backup or conformation to the story and franking I am positive there is no cult of abuse.
Yes, many in ND will engage in consensual bdsm. They practice it according to generally accepted BDSM Lifestyle guidelines of being safe, sane and consensual. None of this was discussed. I am not even sure they did the research to know and if they did they ignored it for the sake of drama. Just like they twisted my words for drama.
If the reporter does any research on BDSM, she will discover that most involved (both dominant and submissive) are more educated then the general population and are NOT weak and helpless. The same is true in ND. They are fully aware of the lifestyle and stay up- to-date and informed. They meet in munches because they want to; not by force. They look forward to going to munches all over the world including ND. It is a lifestyle choice they make.
I don’t want to offer any ill statements against the woman abused for surely she deserves none. My complaint is against sloppy and false reporting of the rest of the story by the News station. I do believe the statements by the reporter about others needed to be proved. I say this based on the fact that consensual BDSM is world wide and safely practices according to standards . It is the same in ND. Where is the backup for her story?
Where are others in this rogue cult? Prove it is the general BDSM community in ND or a rogue or anything at all. It should be simple to get the names.
Is there a rogue sect of some type that is mingling among the BDSM groups?
What about the other woman held against their will in the story? What happened to them? Did the information get delivered to the police in a timely fashion?
Were the police informed of your findings for public saftey?
Why were my words distorted to claim the website sponsored abusive behavior? Who FACT CHECKS at the station if they still call it that or still does it in Newsrooms?
Are there medical records to support she walked out of her home on two broken legs? I mean it could happen, but is this statement the same as twisting my words to project to increase the drama?
Why was I not sent an email before the story aired? Not that I’d answer one now. I will only reply in public writings after seeing how you twist words to create the meaning and intent you wish.
When you are caught in a lie (pretending I said what you claim), how do we know where the real truth start and stop?
Wow what a mess.
If you are wondering why the members of the local bdsm community are silent? Do you blame them? They have two fears. 1) being run over with a TV News truck if they go public or make even a statement (look at what I said and how it was twisted) and 2) how to deal with this rogue group claimed in the report. They want to know if monsters live among them in their group. They are already discussing how to combat the monsters, if real.
I don’t blame them for choosing silence when faced with the tone, preconceived ideas, drama, and lack of research into the lifestyle by the TV station. There is no way to defend, to the news, a personal choice they made that harms no one. This is because of a lack of understand in the newsroom of the bdsm lifestyle. All the news room sees is drama
3 a) Choice Decision
Choice Decision – From the very start of the website’s history, I talk about a:
1) slave making a consensual decision to give her choices to her Master and
2) a Master building trust with is slave.
The definition of “choice decision” as used in B.E.S.T. slave training is as follows:
A slave, at some point in training, makes a decision to allow her Master to own her choices as they proceed to a Master/slave relationship. In other words, she makes a “choice decision to allow her master to make choices for her” This is a decision she freely makes. This decision can only be made freely and with sincerity to be real.
You can’t torture out submission and her willingness to give up choices:
In actuality, in the lifestyle the couple may go together for a long time before she can trust herself and him enough to accept slavery. They will try different things as her trust grows, but she certainly has her free will. During this time, they constantly communicate and communicate and communicate. It must be done of her own free will and with full knowledge of what she is doing.
Consensual slavery is a personal contract between the two of them. They both need informed consent from each other for it to develop. Each must know what is expected and agree to it by free will. Only then is she considered a consensual slave.
Yes, her behavior, emotions, self-mage and thoughts are altered, but she agrees and knows what is happening. These are not dumb people. A slave becomes a slave because she wants it, not because of force. No were do you see me say that accept in the mind of your reporter.
That is all covered in the website.
3 b) Trust
On the subject of trust.
TRUST is discussed in the Theory section and several other places. I’d have no need to talk about building trust and going slow if I advocated force and violence.
DID you guys read the website or cherry pick words??? Trust is not needed with abuse and torture as described in the report. You would just force your will and not worry about trust between parties.
Two references on TRUST they completely ignored are below:
Yes, she may have accurately reported the abuse, and I don’t dough the woman was abused. But then, I think the reporter expresses personal feeling instead of facts. She took the facts of the abuse then went off on a wild drama. One that sounds real good but is fiction. There is absolutely no cause to say my website advocates anything but consent.
Torture is never an answer. Hell, I am against the prisoners being waterboarded in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.
As one can see by the woman’s actions, in the long run, torture and mistreatment made her stronger, not weaker. Lets hope it always happens that way. She found the courage to seek help. Good for her. That being the case why in the HELL would I or anyone else in BDSM want to do that. It would be doomed to fail not foster a long-term Master/slave relationship.
A Master/slave relationship is about developing a long-term relationship, not someone to beat a few times.
What makes a long-term master/slave relationship for the most part are:
1) mutual interest in the lifestyle,
2) like personal interest,
5) informed consent, and
4) REPORTERS LIES
Below I will quote statements by the reporter in the story. You can go on-line to the News site and see that they are the words broadcast. I will show you how there were lies in her words to the point all her words become unbelievable.
The report said:
The web site she directed Valley News Live to cannot be Googled. The site is disguised as BDSM lifestyle page, but contains much more malicious content
This is a lie. It has always been on Google. In fact I work hard to keep my Google ranking up. You can find it usually on about page 6 or so if you enter “slave training” as search words.
In addition it is usually on page 1 of Bing searching for “slave training”. It was two days ago when I checked. The ranking sometimes changes daily but I can be found.
If you want to know if something is listing on Google just put the name in and hit enter. Maybe someone in the newsroom can show the reporter how to search Google or was it done and ignored?
Ranking and listing are two different things. I am both ranked and listed. It is not my fault google does not rank me on the front page like Bing, but i am there. Just look.
If you want to Google something, Google, “slave training” and see the huge number of websites devoted to that subject that are part of bdsm.
It is NOT disguised as BDSM. It is BDSM. PROVE I advocate any form of torture. You are making this up for drama. I talk about safe, sane, and consensual bdsm. It has long been considered part of bdsm. In addition consensual slavery is a part of BDSM. Did anyone do any reserch?
Oh, by the way, you can also find the website listed in Google under the search results of “BDSM slave training.”
I have been to many bdsm events in many locations and talked about B.E.S.T. and other subjects. Never has anyone said my website is “disguised as BDSM.” or non-consensual in nature. How many statements do you need from BDSM practitioners confirming my site discusses real bdsm? But if you do your own research you don’t need them.
You claim there is malicious content. = false = Yes, I talk about behavior, emotions, self-image and thought in training a consensual slave. You know that if you have read it. What the reporter wants my site to say and what it actually says are far different things.
Does ANYONE at the TV station check ANY of the facts. How does she get by with all this? Does truth matter? Do facts matter? Does twisting the truth matter?
The reporter says:
B.E.S.T. slavery is an acronym for behavior, emotions, self-image and thoughts. These are the elements of a person’s life a ‘master’ aims to control in his ‘slave.’
But not as you claim. NEVER is there the slightest indication it advocated torture against an persons . In fact it states the opposite. You created that out of thin air.
The reporter said
Jane’s husband followed the teachings and practiced the guidelines these web sites preach, until he became her master
“I had to kneel on horrible things, boards with nails in them, boards with stick pins in the,” she explains as she lifts her sleeves and pant legs to show the scars. Her body became the canvas of his aggression, as he molded her into submission
Then why was there abuse if he followed my guidelines. Show me the slights indication I was talking about training anyone against their will or lowering self-image or using methods to instill a feeling of inferiority. You can’t. You twisted the words as shown above to imply that lie.
Kneeling: In almost every Master/slave or Dominant/submissive relationship in the BDSM lifestyle the submissive will kneel naked before her master. This is common. But nowhere do I or the generally accepted BDSM practices suggest force to get compliance. Again the site never says what you state it does.
The reporter says:
Fingers had been ripped out, shoulders displaced, spine damaged, knees burned by blowtorch. Jane says it was all done in the hopes of proving her love for her husband. She wanted badly to meet his friends and their wives, believing life might be bearable that way.
This is so far outside accepted BDSM. Were do I advocate this? You will not find it and you know it. I am well within the standards of the BDSM community. That was not BDSM. I defy you to find any such references or suggestions on my site.
The reporter said:
Jane quickly realized the isolation in which she was living is being repeated in homes across the valley.
Jane may have said that but where is the proof. After all the misquotes and lies above, common sense shows it takes more than your words to prove anything the reporter says is true. By this time you need real proof to be believed. I suggest your story is a willful fabrication based on the evidence presented above.
How does the reporter get by with this at the station with so many twisted facts and lies? Do you just believe it without checking? How does that happen? What is going on inside the station walls?
FINDING A BDSM PARTNER
Why in the world would anyone in their right mind need to go through the struggle of forcing someone into the lifestyle. Do as I did. Go to major websites that focus on BDSM to find a mate. A few are collarme.com, alt.com, and bondage.com. You can find a mate in your local area or almost any country in the world (even ND). If you want a consensual slave, you may find one there if they deem you worthy to own them.
The world is filled with smart and intelligent individuals engaging in BDSM. Grow up and look out the window in ND. Many engage in consensual BDSM that includes consensual slavery.
So don’t tell me my site is for abusers with this whole other world exist that I am in constant communication with.
Sadomasochism vs master/slave
It should also be noted that what was discussed as cruelty falls under sadomasochism, not a Master/slave relationship. When we talk about BDSM practices we mean the ones covered in the DSM-5 as safe. Those in the video done by her husband, if true, were not safe or sane. No one uses a damn blow torch to train a slave or forced submission but a very sick man. Show me anyplace on the website I even suggest it.
A master/slave relationship can exist without sadomasochism, and many do and certainly not to the extent discussed in the video. BDSM play is not what was described in this report.
The New DSM- 5 from the APA (article here) about sadomasochism
I don’t know anyone in the bdsm lifestyle that believes the breaking bones or using a blow torch are training aids. That is over the top sadistic behavior. Forcing slavery against the will of the submissive is stupid behavior and I believe doomed to failure. You want a long term happy relationship with your slave not one of her being in constant fear.
The new DSM-5 shows the change of opinion the American Psychiatric Association (APA) made about BDSM play. It is no longer considered a mental disorder to engage in it. However, what was described, if true, in the news story went beyond bdsm play and common accepted practices. It is a disorder.
Is BDSM and dominant/submissive lifestyles practiced in Fargo, ND?
You bet and millions of other places across the world. Millions practice some form of the bdsm lifestyle. But the lifestyle has nothing to do with what was reported on the News in ND. The sane, safe and consensual lifestyle is not considered a mental dysfunction by the APA as detailed in the DSM-5.
If the person consents, you can make a slave. They agree to use their free will to become a slave. You can use a paddle for bdsm play as long as both parties agree.
I, of course, have no idea what meetings in Fargo, ND she was talking about with others engaged in abuse. However the most common meeting are BDSM munches where like minded people meet. They talk about the lifestyle and make friends. Most of them don’t even know my website exist much less use it as a bible. The ones that attend munches are taught to use sane, safe and consensual bdsm. They come from all walks of life in the community. The munches are designed to foster safe ways of doing bdsm, discouraging abuse if needed and making friends. In fact, many members of munches throughout the world actively engage in assisting abuse victims including opening their homes to them as a shielder. I have done the same.
I don’t know where this weird guy came from that abused his wife. I do know that safe, sane, and consensual bdsm play or the modern master/slave lifestyle reject his behavior in the strongest way. It is not the norm of this life even if the ND News wishes to believe so.
It’s a new world
Did you ever hear of “50 shades of Gray”, the Anne Rice books of “Sleeping Beauty“, or hundreds of other such books.?? Almost any bdsm website or book can be used as a guide.
It seems the TV News department is going on a witch hunt with about as much proof as the real Salem witch hunt had. NONE
I think I have proven above that the reporter and the New station with malice of forethought did willfully:
1) alter the intent of the website to imply it recommends abuse and force.
2) state that that my intent is to lower the slave’s self-image
3) used deceivingly the word “inferiority” and “self-image” to alter the meaning of the website to mislead the views
4) Ignored all my discussions on “choice decision”
5) Ignored al my discussions on trust
6) lied about my site not being listed on Google
7) failed to show my strong connection and acceptance in the general bdsm community
8) failed to disclose that I preach safe, sane and consensual practices
9) failed to show disguised as BDSM lifestyle and it is outside the norms of the lifestyle.
10) failed to show malicious content without twisting my words.
Based on the evidence that shows intentional misquotes and false statements, I believe the News Station with willful purpose engaged in defaming me by fabricating something far beyond an woman’s abuse case. They did this with malice of forethought and with intent to harm.
They presented false statments and misquotes clearing intended to lead the viewer away from the truth.
They may have hoped that they would be able to lie to the good people of North Dakota and it would never be challenged,
The deception upon the public is unforgivable and the implied focus of my website is unacceptable by any journalist or moral standards.
I believe this to be willful.
Why did the management of the station not catch these errors? Are you afraid of her? Why was the story not fact-checked? OR did the management see it as a good drama story with good ratings and ignore facts.
Shame on all of you. You don’t get to define BDSM. That has already been done and you don’t get to exclude my website from the mainstream of BDSM in order to invent a story.
MY OPINION of HOW THIS HAPPENED:
The reporter bought the story told her by the woman, hook, line and sinker. Which was fine but she then proceeded to alter the facts to make every word of the woman’s story true. This denotes a reckless disregard of journalist practices.
Even worse is the lack of proofing and verifying details by the station personal. Shame on them all.
I have no idea why her story so easily passed through the cracks without any review. You and I can only guess what is happening in that new room that allows that to happen.
Because of the proven lick of integrity on the part of the reporter and the entire news staff, I have been advised to never directly communicate with them. The NCSF says this is the best format FOR NOW. I can at least prove they changed my wording
LINKS FOR THE NEWS ROOM FACT CHECKER (if you have one.)
FINAL NOTE TO NEWSROOM: If you want to quote my words please have a fact check to see if they are not twisted. If that matters to you.
RECENTLY I SENT THIS MESSAGE OUT TO A GROUP OF FRIEND ABOUT HOW I MET MY SLAVE:
READ as see if it sounds like I believe in force!!!!!!!!!
In another topic of discussion MASTER XXX (the name is none of the newsroom business) said that he has : “owned his slave for 13 years”
I love to hear of the long-term relationships. I have owned my slaveX (none-of the new rooms business) since January 1, 2000. I love to hear about relationships that work.
We found each other on a bdsm dating site and talked for a while before meeting in person.
In the middle months of the year 1999, I started training her, and she was not real sure what she wanted or who the hell I was. After a few months of on and off training, she ran. She was trying to work and finish her B.S. degree. she ran completely over the left field wall (think baseball field) into freedom.
When it happened, I was at her apartment sleeping late and woke up to find a note saying she could not do it anymore and to leave my key to the door. It was too stressful, and she didn’t want it.
The trust is she was in a strong internal debate about giving up her freedoms and being a slave. She needed time to make a decision.
I left her apartment and went back to my house. Yes, I left the key to her door with her.
The funny thing is she came home and could not find her cat, she thought I kidnapped it. LOL — Why in the hell would I kidnap a damn cat lol. Anyway the cat was hiding in the closet, and like a cat, he came out when he was good and ready.
Occasionally she would send me a yahoo IM (or whatever we used in 1999), but we didn’t meet in person again that year until the last day.
In three months, she was ready to return but I was going to make her return to me.
She called me early on New Year Eve. she told me she had tickets for a Tim Mcgraw and Faith Hill New Years Eve concert and an Ice Hockey game on New years day. She also had a Hotel room downtown so we would not have to drive.
Mind you, she did all of this without knowing if I would accept.
I accepted the offer.
she got up the nerve to call but was nervous as hell when I picked her up.
Yes, she did get a little spanking for running but “truth be told” I was impressed with her efforts and willingness to get on her knees and ask to return. It was not much of a punishment, only a token, mostly for fun. I think the three months apart was punishment for her.
I did enjoy the weekend. We discussed a re-start of her training and what would be expected of her as my slave. She accepted slavery on the spot.
I moved a couple hundred miles right after that and she followed in a few months. We’ve had a 24/7 Master/slave relationship since she followed me in 2000. I moved her from a big city to a small town. That was a shock for her as well
Number one things are that we like each other and we communicate. I think they are more powerful than the type of training.
So does that sound like abuse as you described it? You bunch of dummies