A slave asserting Dominance by claiming the right to be a slave & overcoming fear
September 2, 2012 in BDSM by Cuffsmaster
A slave said to me in a email: “I am asserting with dominance (!!) my right to love myself and in that way to be the best slave I can be for my beautiful Mistress.”
CUFFSMASTER: Here are parts of three Emails I received from a slave. He gave me permission to share his words with you. One of the things that 
struck me was his “asserting his dominance — his right to love himself.” I really think his words may hit home to others that struggle with their acceptance of their submissive nature. Never mind what he says about me but look at what he says about himself. I find it great and so glad he shared it for us to enjoy.
submissive nature
He states in his first email: I am a male submissive, and have spent years feeling completely paralysed by fear and self-loathing of my submissive nature. This has nothing to do with my being a self-destructive person and everything, I think, to do with the pressures society places on men to be macho or alpha.
It’s not always been an easy ride, however I have concluded, in the end that being submissive is no different from being straight or gay. It’s who I am. I recently started serving a beautiful Mistress for the first time in my life. She is the single most loving and caring person you could wish to meet and I am very lucky to have found her.
I’m writing to you, however, to let you know that your website and the information on it, which is so beautifully presented and structured, helped me in the most profound way possible to be happy within myself, and to take that first, difficult step. I am a slave, but I am now being dominant in my own mind about that!! That is to say — I am allowing myself to be .. To just be… And to go with the flow.
I am asserting with dominance (!!) my right to love myself and in that way to be the best slave I can be for my beautiful Mistress.
Your article touched me and moved me. Whoever you are, you are a really special person and you are allowing people to realise their dreams and not be ashamed of them. With love, thank you so much
- PS–
I know your site is more about the master / female slave relationship, most of the info can easily be reversed and it worked well for me
CUFFSMASTER: I emailed him back and this is part of his second email to me.
He says:
Yes, you are exactly correct. Being submissive does not equal being weak. That was I think one of my big problems for the longest time. But accepting your submissive nature makes you stronger than you ever could have thought you would be. Since doing this my entire life has become so much happier. I am more confident and happy with myself. I am also a lot more assertive and take a lot less bullshit from people than I did only a few months ago. I think this is because I know who I am, and where I’m going and I am at peace with that.
Thanks for replying to me — and also for the quotes which were amazing.
Submission as a slave is not weakness
CUFFSMASTER: A reply to my third email from him
HE says again:
given everything then, I think it’s such a shame that there must be so many submissive people or there who struggle their entire lives to accept their nature and realise its actually pretty cool and not something to run away from. I am completely submissive, and it permeates every aspect of my existence from my ‘normal’ life to that which I share with my mistress. I have no idea what it might be like to be a dominant person however I have an idea the struggle would be less difficult, if there is even one!! Could be wrong about that though.
Anyway — you’re welcome to use my emails, however please do not under any circumstances use my email address anywhere — or my name 
What a great story. I have witnessed and experienced that degree of struggle. It is so pleasing to read about someone who has come to terms with their submissive nature. Society has tried to ‘breed out’ the submissive soul. Suggesting it to be weak and of no use. There is a true and deep contentment to be found with the right Master / Mistress. All the best Gaia
The truth that accepting submission makes you stronger and sets you free to be yourself is often not easy for a slave to grasp or trust it will happen that way. It goes against what we are told today.
The modern way of thinking hates the “1950’s household” that was structured with a dominant husband that was considered the head of household. His wife was taught to honor and obey him. That structure is far more natural than many today like to admit.
In todays world males are told to not dominant woman and woman are told not be submissive. You are fronded upon if you let your natural feeling show and worse if you act upon them.
The male slave:
I would imagine it’s far worse for a submissive male. A friend of my family is a submissive male and he says many heterosexual male dominants shy away from him at gathering. They don’t want to show any dominant toward him but will to random woman they don’t know. He suspects it’s a fear of being classified as gay lol. I have no fear of bursting out orders to a male slave at a party or gathering where someone must take the lead and that for sure does not make me gay or want to own a male slave. It is just management of the surroundings.
History of Dominance and submission:
Throughout most of history a submissive woman was a wonderful possession but today, by many, she is considered to not be living up to her true self. She is to be changed into a “cookie cutter” image of an independent woman expected in many circles today. My simple answer is bullshit. We are who we are and if you have a dominant or submissive nature then the world has a place for you. It always has had one and it always will. Like it or not, dominance, submission and rules are naturally built into almost every structure of your lives including work and play. Dominance and submission makes the world move. It is natural.
There is no need to live your life crying yourself to sleep at night because you think that you can’t be the submissive person you were born to be. Life is to short and you will have lived it pleasing those that don’t understand you. They expect you to be a cookie cutter image of a modern woman to make their own views look better without regard to your true nature, feelings and heart. They want to change you because it’s not about you it’s about them and their beliefs.
Don’t sacrifice happiness to please a model of what others think a modern woman should be instead of living your true nature.
Accepting your submissive nature can be a huge struggle for many and sadly many live most if not all of their lives unhappy over it. Being a slave, male or female, makes your stronger when dealing with the outside world not weaker. It gives you the foundation you need to project your energy forward to others.
As the writer above beautifully said take dominance of your submission and be happy.
Thank you, Sir. I am totally new to this, and have struggled for years with this..My life as a single parent, forced me to take charge of my life. Many years later, my life was changed when I met and then married the love of my life. Thinking back, I did vow to Honour and Obey him. We have dabbled in some bondage over the past couple of years until I started doing research on the computer to begin to learn about the slave / Master lifestyle. The amount of knowledge is mind-boggling. My Master has expressed an interest in this direction, although he struggles with the punishment and discipline side of the teaching, which I understand the importance of to use in the training of his slave. I have attempted, on the computer, to find local groups, so far without success.
To Cuffsmaster and whoever shared his feeling with you: Thank you
Oh I remember those days of internal struggle because I believed it was only a dream that was unobtainable by me. I didn’t think I could ever let go and be my master’s slave.
Sir, I too am being “dominant in my own mind about it” I demand slavery from myself instead of what others want or think best for me. All thanks to my Master’s guiding hand I am free to be myself.
If you are out there reading this and in a huge emotional struggle over accepting slavery, It is ok, just let yourself go with what you know if right and be yourself. You will NEVER regret it. I not saying it will all be easy but I am saying it will all be worth it to you.
This is a Very good blog post. I also agree this website helped me understand myself. Over the years even when I was rejecting slavery I’d go back time and again and read your website. It helped me accept who I am. Thank you.
Accepting myself was the greatest struggle. My Master has always been supportive and accepting when I have talked to him about my struggles. The best thing about being a slave is I have back-up in my life. If I was a modern woman standing alone there is no way I would have the level of support I am given from my Master. I know that may offend some but you really have to experience a deep level of submission to understand the support and care a Master can display to his slave.
RECONSTRUCTION from BACKUP FILES from 9/15