The Disgruntled Subbie Syndrome (DSS)

From the House of GhostWolf

 Written by heartsdesire{GW}1st girl

 The Disgruntled Subbie Syndrome   (or It’s Not My Fault…..He’s Just a Bad Master)

The disgruntled subbie syndrome is a malady that occurs to submissives when a D/s relationship doesn’t work out and they need someone to blame. There is also the disgruntled Dom/me syndrome, but it’s far less common. For purposes of this narrative I’m going to use the masculine for the Dominant and the feminine for the submissive. This tale also takes place in a polyamourous setting. This is meant to entertain and offend no one or everyone.

It goes like this:

In the early stages of the relationship the submissive in question is attracted to a poly Dominant for whatever reasons and decides to tell Him that yes, she’ll give poly a try “for Him”. So, with that concession implicitly given by the submissive, a cycle of expectations begins. The Dominant expects her to do her best to learn the rules and makes those rules clear, and begins to incorporate her into His existing Family. The submissive “expects” certain things because in her mind she has already given up much by loving Him so much or being so attracted to Him and admitting that to Him, and so “she” is in essence “sharing” Him with His existing Family!!! Of course, all this conjecture is generally unknown to the Dominant until it gets thrown in His face at the end. In this writer’s humble opinion the end is already near.

Now, what we have here is a case of Disgruntled Subbie Syndrome waiting to happen, and sadly an already doomed D/s relationship. What we also have here is a submissive who is going to go to great lengths to have things her way and make all parties, including herself, miserable. Why you might ask??? Because she feels she is more than enough for Him and He really will give up His polyamourous life once He sees the light….in her of course! Moving right along, keep in mind that our submissive has now confessed to wanting to be with the Dominant, so much so that she has conceded to (in her mind) these less than ideal circumstances. The Dominant includes her in His Family setting. Watching to see the interactions, the learning process, looking for the harmony or lack thereof that this new one brings. For the submissive this is a double-edged sword. She is happy to be getting the attention of a submissive in training under this Dominant she cares for so much, and being included in the most private areas of His life…but at the same time she is very unhappy to find herself in a situation where she has little say so, and worst of all, she has to bear seeing Him pay attention to His others!! Oh woe is our poor disgruntled subbie. She discounts the fact that she is untrained in the ways of His House (her ways are better anyway, He’ll see), she hates to see her sisters serving “her” Dominant. She feels inadequate or more to the point, feels she could somehow do things better, OR at worst, would never do any of those things in a million years!!

Of course, when the trainee submissive does get the opportunity to serve “her” Dominant, she does it badly or wrong…usually on purpose. Her poor performance accomplishes one or two things…The Dominant (now please note He’s “her” Dominant) notices and corrects her behavior or notices and the submissive blames it on her sisters setting a bad example!! Either or both ways puts the submissive in the spotlight, right where she wants to be. While the rest of the House looks aghast and askance. What I’ve failed to mention up to now, is that the Dominant in this tale is a Master and the sisters are slaves. Not that this puts any hardship on our submissive, since she is not a slave, rather a very good submissive and feels in that she is somehow better and above the indignities of her slave sisters. All the while noting that her House sisters are very dignified, proud, well behaved, filled with self-esteem and beautiful. Of course she never admits this out loud because deep in her heart she just knows that her years in the BDSM Community and her love for “her” Dominant will prevail and eventually He will see HER!! And give up His established Family for her alone.

Well, right about now the Dominant really is seeing HER!! And not much liking what He sees. The submissive thinks with all her years of experience that everything is going well (for her), since she thinks her machinations have gone undetected. She wheedles away to get “her” Dominant out publicly, to show Him off and to prove what she’s been telling her friends all along, that He’s with her only.

She is proving to Him how wonderful it will be when it’s just Him and her…ALONE!! This is a manipulation technique used by our ever valiant subbie to show the Dominant how He really doesn’t need anyone but her and to show her friends how much more He must care for her since He didn’t bring any of the others out. What doesn’t usually get said is that she manipulated the outing so she made certain she was the only one available!! On a cheerful note, most experienced Dominants will only fall for this subterfuge ONCE.

So, our beleaguered Dominant is finally realizing there’s trouble in paradise, and our ever valiant submissive is getting deeply disgruntled. Seeking to correct the abhorrent behavior of the submissive in training the Dominant uses His tried and true method of “good girls get spanked, bad girls get ignored”. The subbie, being ignored, is plotting away, enlisting the aid of friend and foe in a desperate attempt to figure out why her manipulations are no longer working. Never realizing that her manipulations didn’t ever work, and are now becoming tiresome and problematic. What she’s not doing is introspection. What she’s not doing is getting off her personal agenda and onto the Dominant’s (no longer “her” Dominant) program. What she IS doing is whining to anyone and everyone….”what’d I do wrong???? Why doesn’t He love MEEEeeeee?????”.

This is the point where our Dominant loses His endless patience and does His best to exit the relationship with some semblance of dignity for all concerned and offers to remain friends. Will the submissive allow this??? Nope. Why?? Because she’s already deep in the throws of the Disgruntled Subbie Syndrome and the only cure is to totally give in to the maniacal urge prove “something” to everybody.

Instead of admitting that she can’t or won’t be able to deal with this particular Dominant under His particular set of circumstances, she sets out to prove to Him and the world at large that she can be a slave…no she IS a slave!!!…she is, she is, she IS a slave…and therefore now worthy again of His attentions. Meanwhile, whispering to all and sundry that the slaves in “that House” are such and such…and “her” Dominant is not a Dominant let alone a Master at all.

And so faithful reader, it ends…it ends badly. With many hurt feelings and looks of bewilderment for A/all involved. And there are lots more people involved by now than this writer could have imagined!! All because one stubborn submissive was told exactly what the rules for a particular Dominant’s House were and she agreed to work within those set boundaries….all the while keeping her own personal agenda of wants, needs, desires and absolutely MUST HAVES, a secret for all to know except the Dominant she professed to want to serve!!! Sadly the community becomes involved because of her hysterics, and the Dominant takes the fall, as she knew He would, because He is honorable and won’t sink to gossip and innuendo.

He is now a “bad Master”, because she didn’t get things HER way. So goes the Disgruntled Subbie Syndrome. All Dominants should be aware of and watch for this!! It’s highly contagious and if Your submissive or slave is exposed even briefly to one afflicted with DSS (Disgruntled Subbie Syndrome), she will suddenly have a whole new set of “I wants, I needs,” and contract negations for You to deal with. So please, I’m begging You A/all…do what can be done to stamp out this dreaded disease. Open and constant communication is the key.

Not only listen to what is said, look for actions to follow up those words Y/you think Y/you heard or said. If Your sub/slave or you Dom/Master/Mistress is telling everyone but Y/you what’s wrong with your relationship…then there’s a rampant case of DSS (Disgruntled Subbie Syndrome) at large in your community!!!!

This missive is intentionally humorous. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. (Unless of course you recognize yourself)

Thanks for reading.

Author: heartsdesire{GW} – 1st girl