my enslave­ment to my mas­ter.

WELCOME

China Hamil­ton

…to my cage. In this sec­tion i will explain why i am a slave, the jour­ney that brought me to where i am now (enslave­ment) and a look toward the future.  As i am still in train­ing and will be to some extent for­ever this will be con­stantly updated.

slave cage

my wish is that this helps another to under­stand and real­ize they are not alone in their desire to serve and please and it is a won­der­ful expe­ri­ence when nur­tured and allowed to grow.

*****

[wpspoiler name=“Why am I a slave?” ]

This is not about the dif­fer­ence between sub­mis­sive and slave. i’m not going to get hung up on the dif­fer­ences and everyone’s def­i­n­i­tion of each is dif­fer­ent. i will say that i have a mind and an opin­ion and my Master’s respect.

i am a slave because of the strong desire i have to please and serve. This desire has been mis­di­rected most of my life. It has caused me a great deal of stress and inner tur­moil by try­ing to make EVERYONE happy at my own expense. While this desire to please is the key to slav­ery it must be guided through a Master.

Before i met my Mas­ter, i directed all of my energy to pleas­ing my fam­ily and friends. The only one i please now is my Mas­ter and sur­pris­ingly enough this pleases me and every­one that i encounter. This makes me a stronger per­son and allows me more focus and direc­tion in my life. [/wpspoiler]

Jour­ney into slavery

[wpspoiler name=“my jour­ney into slavery” ]

Dis­cov­er­ing my sub­mis­sive side and meet­ing my Mas­ter my jour­ney into slav­ery begins as most with a real­iza­tion of my sub­mis­sive nature. This came about actu­ally through a chat room. i met a man online who liked to hang out in the “Chat Cham­ber Bondage Talk” chat room. i went in there to show Him that i could “hang” with Him and noth­ing intim­i­dated me. The talks were inter­est­ing and stim­u­lat­ing (and i don’t mean that in a cyber sex type of way). i lis­tened and met a lot of really nice peo­ple that were into the lifestyle online or real time. Iron­i­cally the man that i ini­tially entered the room with turned out to be submissive.

i was in a rela­tion­ship with an alco­holic and when he passed out, i got online. i ended the rela­tion­ship and decided to take care of “me” and to find a strong man that i could respect. i have always thought that i was born in the wrong cen­tury and would be bet­ter suited to the ante­bel­lum times when women served their men. i put an ad on bondage.com on New Years Eve, 1999 and vowed not to set­tle for less that what i needed and deserved.

The first encounter was short and weird. He wanted me to dress like a maid and squirt me with a water gun. While this is intrigu­ing, i knew i desired more. Also, i made Him a ner­vous wreck and i knew i could walk all over Him. The next lasted approx­i­mately 4 months. He intro­duced me to nip­ple clamps, a crop and thought He would intro­duce me to forced pros­ti­tu­tion. He would change rules and try to trip me up so that He could pun­ish me. He had no respect for me and pretty much told me so. i won’t go into all the details, but He went from a kind and strong Dom­i­nate male to a dis­gust­ing sick pig and i lost all respect for Him. A rela­tion­ship is noth­ing with­out mutual respect.

Mov­ing on to my Mas­ter. By the time i met Cuff­s­mas­ter, i didn’t trust Him and based our rela­tion­ship upon my past expe­ri­ence. i met Him think­ing, ok this is it, if this one turns out to be a psy­chopath than this is not the lifestyle for me. While we clicked from the start, i still wasn’t sure how much i trusted Him. i kept wait­ing for Him to change the rules on me or to trick me. i also went back and forth about this lifestyle and whether this was what i really wanted. He was patient, but every­one has their break­ing point. In Sep­tem­ber of 1999 i decided that i could not han­dle this type of rela­tion­ship and it was just too hard. i left a note and was through! He had done noth­ing to bring me to this point, i was just run­ning scared of my own feelings.

Of course, you know that’s not the end of this story. We kept in touch, but He was not going to make any effort until He knew that i was sure about my com­mit­ment and not going to run. He always accused me of going to left field and Him hav­ing to drag me back home. New Years Eve 2000 – the new mil­len­nium was a turn­ing point in my life. i com­mit­ted myself totally and com­pletely to Cuff­s­mas­ter and never ran again. Oh, i still take an occa­sional trip out to left field, but i don’t climb the fence and bolt any­more. [/wpspoiler]

[wpspoiler name=“Journey Part II” ]The New Millennium

When my Mas­ter accepted me it was totally and com­pletely and i was pun­ished (jus­ti­fi­ably) for run­ning away from Him. He has intro­duced me to so much and there is still much to come. It is a con­tin­u­ing train­ing process and i am always learn­ing ways to please Him. One of the traits of a true submissive/slave is her strong desire to please. When used in a pos­i­tive way it ben­e­fits not only your Mas­ter, but your­self as well. You grow into the per­son that you are meant to be.

Through this i am stronger, not weaker. my fam­ily no longer walks all over me and i speak my mind with fam­ily, friends, and at work. No, i’m not a total bitch, but i don’t let peo­ple con­trol my life (that’s my Master’s job). School’s OUT i have just grad­u­ated from col­lege, which has been the main focus of my Mas­ter and there­fore my main focus. i returned to col­lege in 1996 and in 2003 at 41, i am the first and only sib­ling in my fam­ily to receive a col­lege edu­ca­tion. With­out the sup­port of my Mas­ter (and my fam­ily) this could not have been accom­plished. Mas­ter allowed a great deal of leniency through this period to allow me to focus on my stud­ies. He offered guid­ance and also had to relearn sta­tis­tics to help me under­stand this won­der­ful sub­ject that i’m sure i’ll use every day! Now that i have grad­u­ated my train­ing has become more intense and focused. [/wpspoiler]