BEST slave training Resistance -bdsm

B.E.S.T. slave Training

Resistance & Reactance

ASSUMPTIONS for the section:

Resistance is a reaction to change.

Resistance occurs when something or someone causes a threat to something of value. The threat may be real or it may be just a perception.

This threat causes anxiety.

Resistance can occur where there is a genuine understanding of the change or where there is a real misunderstanding, or even almost total ignorance about it.

Resistance can effect behavior, emotions, self-image and thoughts.

This is not about "brat play" or any other form of BDSM place. It is about real resistance to change. The Master and slave are serious and this is not a game.

RESISTANCE and slave training:

Resistance is not a category of B.E.S.T. slave training but does deserve special notice to the trainer. Resistance can often be handled as an interfering belief with REBT or B.E.S.T. slave training techniques. The source of resistance is when the topic, expected behavior, situation or her Master is viewed as threatening. Anxiety is present in any response to a threat and the slave feels compelled to defend herself against additional anxiety.

Resistance is a reaction to anxiety caused by the change and the treat felt from it. It is not directly aimed at the Master.

A slave, like all humans, seeks homeostasis and equilibrium in her life. she want stability and any change rocks that boat. It is human nature to resist change. A master needs to understand that in most cases a slave's resistance is not personal or even directed at him but instead is a human reaction to anxiety caused by a threat perceived from change. In many cases she may very well see that she needs to do what her master asked to deepen her slavery and even want to but this knowledge and desire does not always reduce her anxiety.

Resistance is classified as internal or external.

Internal resistance is an attempt by the slave to retreat from her Master’s efforts to explore and alter behavior and/or beliefs. It is anxiety associated with a change in life status or attitude. The faster the slave is exposed to change the more the resistance increases because her anxiety gets stronger.

Openness is important in a Master/slave relationship. A lack of openness causes stress when a Master attempts to explore internal feelings, and beliefs. Because of the critical nature of openness in the relationship, it should be strongly stressed to the slave early in the training process. It is also important for the slave to realize that you accept her as she is. Yes, you will alter her to serve, obey and please you, but you accept her and want her to feel she can reveal her thoughts and feelings to you.

It is a violation of her duty as a slave to keep her feelings to herself. If she does open to you, then it is also a violation of your duty as a Master to act in a way that causes her stress for having the courage of opening up herself to you. you should not encourge her to open her thoughts and feeling to you then use and/or hold them again her. you will destroy trust if you act improperly.

One form of internal resistances is called reactance. Reactance is discussed below in a separate section (Reactance to a loss of an important freedom).

External resistance can be caused by anxiety about being dependent or close to another person. It can develop when the Master goes faster than the slave feels she is capable of going, therefore she resists his attempts. Another source of resistance is lack of faith in her Master or a lack of readiness to accept slavery. There can also be a resistance to the amount of time her Master requires for training when she feels it could be used otherwise or if she is tired or sleepy. Resistance can also be due to emotional reactions caused by past life experiences (flashbacks) that may seem overwhelming to the slave.

The principle value of resistance to the Master is that it gives an indication of how the slave is progressing in training. After resistance is seen in the slave then her Master can ignore, reduce, or utilize it. Resistance also is a window into the slave’s defense structure.

The expressions of resistance depends on the slave’s personality. People express anxiety differently.

Overcoming Resistance:

For any of the below techniques to work the slave trainee must want to change so she can better serve, obey and please her master.

Techniques for overcoming resistance:

1) Ignoring, but being aware of it and watching for increases. This may be useful if you are not directly dealing with the issue at the present time.

2) Minor adaptations - slowing down.

Allowing you slave to adjust easier by slowing the changes thrust upon her. It is a method of reducing but not removing anxiety. It may cause less stress in the long run by allowing trust to grow, allowing her more time to analysis the changes and the threat it causes her, and your behavior. A master needs to observe the reactions of his trainee when he is changing behavior rapidly.

3) Temporary diversion - re-direction to less threatening areas and return at a later time.

This is another method of temporarily eliminating or reducing anxiety caused by change. It simply gives a Master more time to prepare a trainee for change.

A Master should not viewed himself as being weak if he stops this current training goals for a short period and re-directs training in an area that causes the trainee less anxiety.

4) Direct manipulation -

a) Examination of the slave’s use of resistance with her How has the slave used resistance to her benefit in the past. Often anxiety grows into a tool used to "get your way" and cause others to back off. It can be a learned defense. Talk about the behavior used by the slave when the feelings of anxiety are present.

Humans react to change because they:
·    fear losing something that believe has value, or
·    don't understand the change and it will impact them, or
·    don't see any value in changing or it is not logical to them , or
·    find it difficult to cope with the new behavior caused by the change (can’t cope).

COMMUNICATIONS:

Show your slave the value in changing to your required behavior. Often providing the slave with more knowledge about how the behavioral change will affect her and the relationship in a positive way helps overcome anxiety . Show her the positive side of changing her beliefs and behavior. Discuss ways to make the change easier in order to enable her to cope with the change. Often the act of changing from one behavior to another is more stressful than the actual change. Discuss the process of changing. Offer encouragement and let her know you are pleased with her change any behavior, this will make additional changes easier.

b) Reflection on feelings of resistance Causing the slave to tell you about her resistance and why she felt as she did. what past issues cause it.

S. K Piderit (2000) believes that the definition of the term resistance must incorporate a broader scope. She states that "a review of past empirical research reveals three different emphases in conceptualizations of resistance: as a cognitive state, as an emotional state, and as a behavior" (Piderit, S.K. (2000, Oct). Rethinking resistance and recognizing ambivalence: a multidimensional view of attitudes toward an organizational change. Academy of Management -794. A, 783).

Both internal and external resistance reduces as trust in her Master builds. Of course, building trust takes time and must be reinforced with positive examples. Trust involves a belief that her Master:

1) has the knowledge and skills necessary to re-educate and re-socialize her,
2) will keep her safe,
3) will accept ownership of her,
4) will structure her service in a way that she feels useful and
5) has personal stability and integrity.

c) Threats followed by action if necessary to motivate This involves setting a goal. Then clearly stating consequences for failing to meet the goals. This can also mean punishment for not meeting the goals. .

d) Direct confrontation or direct questioning This means you force your trainee to discuss the source of her resistance and discuss ways of reducing her anxiety.

It is confronting the root cause. It is not just behavioral change but examining emotions and thoughts. The Master can use REBT and CHOICE THERAPY concepts here. you can focus on showing her the logic of change or the illogical stance of resisting change.

e) Overwhelming force (meaning that she knows she will not change her Master's mind by resistance or reactance).

He has issued an order and expects it obeyed. He had made the choice of her behavior. Her only choice is to change her behavior to that her Master wishes. If she maintains her slavery, she is helpless to change her behavior in the long run because her master controls it.

She is helpless to change her behavior therefore her attitude must change in order to reduce the mental conflict. The feeling of helplessness to change her own behavior is important in slave training. she seeks peace and calmness in her life and if her behavior is owned and controlled then she must change her attitude to achieve it (see Cognitive Dissonance Theory below).

This requires that a master has already established his interpersonal forms of power, or the ways one person manages, trains and controls another. They are listed below.

NOTE: The term helplessness as used here means:

that in order to maintain her slavery or continue on the right path in her slave training and not displease her Master, she is helpless to change her behavior. Her Master determines her behavior. It means that she has made a decision to allow her Master the right to make her behavioral choices for her. He has made a choice of how he wishers her to behave therefore she is helpless to change her behavior and be a slave. If she rejects his choice she is rejecting her her oath to allow him to own her choices and is acting outside her slavery.

Reactance to a loss of an important freedom:

Reactance is a type of internal resistance that should be expected from a slave during training. Recognizing and overcoming reactance is important in slave training.

Reactance occurs when the slave perceives a threat to her freedoms or and actual " loss of a freedom" that is important to her and this motivates her to attempt to restore that freedom. The theory also associates the state of reactance with emotional stress, anxiety, resistance and struggle for the slave, and she is motivated to escape from these feelings.

Reactance is not a resistance to the time involved in training or even a resistance to her Masters efforts to train her, it is a resistance to a "loss of a freedom" and the emotional stress that this loss causes her. she attempts to regain this freedom usually by an emotional reaction to the change. This is a point that is often misunderstood. It is a personal resistance to a loss of a freedom as opposed to a resistance to her Master. However, her way of rebelling against the loss of freedom may be seen as resistance to her Master.

Restated, reactance is a resistance to a thing (loss of freedom) not a person. A slave has a reactance to loosing control as opposed to resisting her Master.

Example 1) If a slave has taken pride in choosing her own clothing to wear all her life and her Master now chooses her clothing for her, the resistance in not against her Master, it is again the loss of freedom.

Example 2) If a slave has agreed to move in with her Master to become a 24/7 slave, she may, at the last minute, have a reactance to the loss of freedom and privacy she knows in coming. It is an internal conflict instead of a reaction against her Master.

One of the major factors in overcoming reactance is for the slave to feel that no matter how she reacts to the "loss of freedom, " her Master will not give in. She is faced with an overwhelming force and her only option is to accept the "loss of freedom". Her behavior is controlled by her Master, therefore she must change her attitude about the "loss of freedom" in order to reduce the stress the reactance causes. (see Cognitive Dissonance Theory below)

(Brehm, J. (1966). "A Theory of Psychological Reactance" New York: Academic Press) and (Brehn, S. (1981). "Psychological Reactance: A Theory of Freedom and Control")

Also additional information can be found at http://www.enslavement.org.uk/reactance.html

Reactance Theory operates in three sequential phases. The first phase is the activating step and the key feature of the Reactance Theory.

Phase 1. A slave perceives an "unfair" restriction on her behavior or loss of an important freedom.

The key words are "unfair" and "important." A slave will accept restrictions and loss of freedom if she feels that it is reasonable, equal, and just. When the slave feels the restrictions are unfair, she doesn’t know why they are being applied, she thinks they are too tough, or too important, then her emotions may move to phase 2.

Phase 2. The state of reactance is activated.

Reactance can be very motivational to the slave. The slave in a state of reactance is emotional, single-minded, and can be somewhat irrational. It arises because she has been wronged and she is not going to take it anymore. Reactance is important to understand because it has strong motivational properties and leads to the final phase.

Phase 3. The slave must act to remove the reactance.

The motivational qualities the slave has in the state of reactance are so strong that she must do something about it. The reactance cannot be ignored or put aside by her Master. In particular, the slave is motivated to either "right the wrong" or to get around the restriction. In other words, a slave with reactance will try to get the unfair restriction removed or they will try to subvert the restriction.

Another consequence of reactance at phase three is that the slave will tend to overvalue the action that was unfairly restricted. In the study on detergents, housewives rated the phosphate-based detergent as a better cleaning product than the one without phosphates even though phosphates have no real chemical impact on cleaning.

When a slave exhibits reactance to rules, laws, or any other restriction and/or when she feels a loss of an important freedom she will:

Value the restricted behavior more

Want to engage in the restricted behavior more

Engage in a different behavior as a reaction to the restriction and this behavior is usually negative

Have hostility toward her Master for the restriction.

Four Actions a Master can take when confronted with Reactance

a) Brehm said that there is a feeling of "helplessness", when an important freedom is removed. This can be overcome if the slave feels she is confronted by an "insurmountable superior power."

In addition, according to Brehm, the resistance can most often be overcome by applying "very high force" which is defined as a powerful force, but a less than insurmountable superior power. The amount if force that is necessary to use is dictated by how important the freedom is to the slave. The more important it is, the more force necessary to overcome and/or place the slave into a feeling of helplessness.

b) REBT can be used as well to identify the interfering belief and applying the A-B-C-D-E steps to it. Click her for more details on REBT

c) "Choice Decision" Click her for more details on choicedecision.htm

Interpersonal Forms of Power:

Interpersonal forms of power, or the ways one person manages, trains and controls another. The interpersonal forms of power are:

Reward Power - ability to control the reward a slave wants; reinforcements
Coercive Power - ability to cause a slave to have an unpleasant experience; punishment
Legitimate Power - based on position or mutual agreement. The slave agrees to accept her Master and grants him authority. This is why a contract is valuable in slave training because the contract grants her Master legitimate power, by establishing his authority in writing. In addition to setting goals, it allows both Master and slave to discuss the process and allows her to see and agree to the authority she is granting him.
Reverent Power - an elusive power that is based on interpersonal attraction. The slave identifies with the Master and the Master is individualistic and respected by the slave. This is the personal connection between the two.
Expert Power - specialized knowledge or skills the slave needs. Three conditions must exist; trust, knowledge must be relevant and useful, and perception as an expert by the slave.

The ability of a Master to overcome the resistance and reactance of a slave is directly related to the strength and application of the interpersonal forms of power (see Interpersonal Forms of Power). A Master should be aware of each form of power and how it applies to controlling his slave. Taking steps to improve the interpersonal forms of power can have a long-term positive effect on training. The use of reward power strengthens a Master's control by causing the slave to seek more rewards by pleasing her Master. The proper use of punishment strengthens coercive power by causing the slave to avoid displeasing her Master. An agreed to contract and written rules that are enforced increases legitimate power. Reverent Power is increased by forcing the slave to act "as if" and by increasing her personal bond with her Master, this creates a stronger sense of belonging to her Master. Demonstrating the knowledge and skills necessary to train a slave increases expert power. All interpersonal forms of power act together in the process of overcoming resistance and reactance. Training a slave is not just reward power and coercive power, in fact, they are of little value without the others existing as well.

Cognitive Dissonance Theory:

The following explains how changing a slave's behavior and resistance to change often collide in training and why a slave changes behavior.

Cognitive dissonance says that "when a slave's attitude conflicts with other personal beliefs or the behavior her Master requires, it causes a mental discomfort (conflict and or resistance). This motivates her to change either her attitude or behavior to reduce dissonance."

A Master controls the slave's behavior therefore her attitude must be changed in order to reduce the mental conflict. she is "helpless" to change her behavior because it is determined by her Master. She has given her Master the "legitimate power" to control her behavior therefore her only option is changing her attitude. However, resistance to the change is to be expected.

The term "helpless" means that she is helpless to change her behavior and still maintain her slavery (upholding the contract with her Master and pleasing him). Yes, she could change her behavior to one that is not what her Master's wishes but that would be outside of her slavery.

Her behavior is determined by her Master and her attitude changes to reflect that behavior, if

1) a Master's "legitimate power" is well established and strong,

2) the slave believes her Master has the skills necessary to train her (expert power), and

3) she has a sense or desires a sense of belonging to her Master (reverent power).

If the above exist, then reward and coercive power can be used to change behavior and overcome resistance. See the section Interpersonal Forms of Power for more detail.

slave, training, submissive, punishment, discipline, training, resisting, bdsm, lifestyle, submission, obey, serve, please