The terms safe, sane and consensual are the cornerstones of safely practicing this lifestyle. It has been long understood by those engaging in BDSM that it must be sane, safe and consensual. These words are taken seriously by millions of people that engage in the lifestyle around the world. Anything else is criminal.
Folks, B.E.S.T. slave training website is intended to be a relationship based on trust between consenting adult. Anything else is abuse and not what this website is about. In fact it is not what the BDSM lifestyle is about. Safe BDSM practices are strongly encouraged.
Torture to obtain submission or holding someone against their will has no place in the lifestyle and is a violation of law. Modern day consensual Master/slave relationships are about a submissive agreeing to be trained to serve her master. All though this site you will hear consensual discussed over and over.
In all cases on this website the words “slave training” mean consensual slave training in adherence to generally accepted bdsm lifestyle practices.
If there is no consent and mutual agreement before you start then there is abuse. I recommend having a slave read every page of this or whatever training plan you use so she fully understand and agrees to your training style and methods. In all things in slave training communication is important.
Do you want to train a slave to serve, obey and please you? Then I believe you have come to the right place to learn slave training. In addition to guiding her in her desires, you learn the BDSM lifestyle, hypnosis, bondage and many other skills needed. I would also recommend that you not limit your learning about consensual bdsm to this site. If fact there is 1000′s of sites devoted to bdsm and I’d suggest both of you spend time exploring. There are no two households alike in their relationship to take time to develop your style. Just alway keep it safe, sane and by all mean consensual.
The aim of B.E.S.T. slave training is setting goals for a consensual slave in training. This includes instilling motivation to guide her into fulfilling her desires to be a slave girl.
B.E.S.T. is an acronym for:
I discuss these four cornerstones of B.E.S.T. and general practices and theories of slave training. Study each of the four training cornerstones.
What is the goal and is it going to be achieved in slave training?
My purpose is not to hold your hand, but provide a step by step process to follow when training a slave. Keeping in mind that the foundation of the BDSM lifestyle is the informed consent of the parties involved. Many questions will arise and I would suggest that you always error on the side of safety both emotionally and physically. Spending additional time to discuss issues in never a problem. You have to trust each other to move alone this patch together.
Not everyone is suited for the bdsm lifestyle or wants it. That is why communication is important. Both parties must know what is involved and agree to proceed. There is usually no single step from the vanilla world (without bdsm) to a master/slave relationship. It is a gradual journey you take together with mutual understanding, communication, agreement and growth. Take the time to let trust grow.
I get many emails from submissives that want their partner to be dominant and in the lifestyle and from dominants that want their partner to be a submissive in the lifestyle. My advice is always the same. Not everyone wants this lifestyle. For the relationship to work both parties have to understand it and want it.
If you started the relationship vanilla (without bdsm) then it may remain that way because you can’t change the parters mind or make that decision for them. Yes, you can discuss it with them and see if they are willing to try it but you can’t force it on them. This is a lifestyle of personal choice not force. Many, many times the answer is no the partner does not want to live a bdsm lifestyle. In that case, you have to honor the partners wishes and remain vanilla or find a new partner. It is that simple.
Even if your partner has a dominant personality that does not mean he wants to by your bdsm lifestyle dominant. Even if her basic personality is that of a submissive that does not mean she wants the bdsm lifestyle. It takes both personality and a desire to be in the bdsm lifestyle. The term “informed consent” is often used in the lifestyle. Both parties know what is expected and agree before starting.
A slave begins her path into slavery by giving up choices. Often a slave contract clearly states both parties requirements. A slave needs to go into this with her eyes wide open. The purpose of this guideline is to train her to the point she is worthy of being a collared slave girl.
A master should design her training to mold her into the type of slave you desire. If you wish a sex slave, then teach her those skills. If you require domestic, then train in those skills. A Master trains a slave to fit his needs. She can be trained to have many skills if required.
A new dominant in the lifestyle, first must learn to Master a slave girl and conduct safe training and BDSM play. Get help if needed.
Many in the lifestyle follow the Goren ways. This came from a series of books written by John Norman about life on the mythical planet of Gor. It is not necessary to follow this brand of the lifestyle. Masters have been training slaves long before the books. I, like many relish the books, but prefer my own style of training. A new slave will find the lifestyle crammed with slave positions, protocols, speech restrictions, rituals and rules. It is not an absolute, to have all these, but most new slave girls respond well to them.
Slave; hear me; it is not necessary be experienced as a slave or at BDSM
The need to have prior experience at bdsm is a myth many future slaves worry about. Every Master has his own brand of training techniques. Listen to your Master, hear his words and become the best possible slave girl you can be. Never fear your dreams of slavery, embrace them, and you will learn fast. Ask questions when in training, in order to understand what is expected of you. If in silent protocol, remember the question and ask when speech is granted.
A Master becomes a slave’s personal trainer. He guides her into her future. In these pages, I give the trainer sound methods to accomplish training his slave girl. The core of slave training is an art form albeit based on knowledge and skills, found in logic and reason. These pages are geared towards training slave girls and dominant men, but can be used to train slave boys and dominant women. The roles are the same. As always I would suggest you talk to those already in the lifestyle for advice and help. Find a local community and you will more than likely discover people with many years of experience willing to help. In addition there are many websites and be sure to explore them just as you do this one.
There are many dating services you can use to find a possible mate. However, they are just like any other service and you need to use caution. I used one but precautions must be taken. Simply talking to someone does not make you their dominant or submissive. If you find them interesting and agree to meet, be sure and follow basic safety precautions. Always meet for the first few times in public and remain in public. Learn more about them before agreeing to start the bdsm relationship. Go gradual. Yes, I know you have dreamed of the bdsm lifestyle but start it off right not horribly wrong with the wrong partner. Think safety first.
The lifestyle is not a place to practice domestic abuse or violence but you might find some predators on any dating service. They try to use the lifestyle to find someone to abuse. Be aware. before the first meetings, you should have a friend that agrees to be used as a safety phone number . She should know where you are meeting and how long you will be there with him. It is called a “safe call” and if you doesn’t call at a set time, this person calls you and if you don’t answer then they call the police. Find out basic information about him that can be given to the police before meeting. If he meets you in a vehicle then get is tag number and call it in to your safe call person. You can also ask to view a drivers license and give that information to the safe call person as well. If he is unwilling to give you basic personal information before meeting, then don’t meet.
Know the Dominant
As in all forms of meeting dating partners, some use the lifestyle as an avenue to find victims. Be safe, not sorry. Be sure and ask over and over, until you understand the Masters training and BDSM practices. Ask for references and some personal information, before meeting. There are Masters that enjoy edge play, and you need to understand all the diversities of the lifestyle. Set your limits for training and expect them to be followed. Even after you meet to start the training, continue to have a “safe call” set up for a while. I know you are eager but your safety comes first.
If you are in a relationship and he wants to change to to a dominant submissive one, it is your right to refuse. This is done by mutual agreement.
If you sense there is a “red flag” problem, then there probably is and you need to use caution.
Risk and Consent: RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) is a concept you need to research if you plan on including intense or unusual BDSM play into your lifestyle. The concept of RACK puts the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of the individuals conducting BDSM play to be aware of the risk in the kink play they want to engage in. It also says that the risk must be understood and consensual. RACK still includes all parties to consent to the kink, or scene play. However for the purposes of this website SSC is the focus not RACK. SSC generally holds that only activities that are considered safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) are permitted. These can be seen at any public dungeon in the U.S. Local training is also available in most areas. SSC
What do I need to train my slave?
You need a dominant personality, good character she can trust and a few foundations skills. A master must know what he wants and be realistic. These pages will help with the foundations. This website deals with training a slave to serve for life. This is not a weekend sport for most slave girls; it is their core. If serious about living the lifestyle as Master/slave girl, follow the knowledge in these training guides.
A look at the slave training guide
“The slave training guide techniques” part of this website details many training methods. You learn about consensual spanking, bondage, frigging and other nasty practices you will love. Many details related to slave training are discussed here. It is an eclectic part discussing several subjects.
The BDSM lifestyle section covers articles about the lifestyle and why it is OK to love bdsm. NO, you are NOT crazy so lighten up. You don’t need professional help for having these feelings. I also cover the way the DSM IV views BDSM.
Articles of interest to the BDSM lifestyle community and to B.E.S.T. slave training guide are in the “articles Index” under the “Other” menu. Articles will be regularly added about slave training, BDSM lifestyle, and so on.
As this guide develops many other subjects will be more deeply explored, such as, bondage, dominance, submission, humiliation, flogging, spanking, canning, training, punishment, B&D, S&M, BDSM, hypnosis, sexuality, sex slave training, advanced orgasm control, discipline, suspension, dungeons, and safe, sane, and consensual practices. This training guide is intended to expand and stay current with today’s news topic about the bdsm lifestyle and slave training.
Thank you for your support for this slave training guide since the site began in 2002. I hope we continue together exploring the Master/slave dynamics for years and years through this general bdsm lifestyle and slave training guide.
Personal note to new Masters & slaves
Much of this website deals with psychological theory. But, the fun of training a slave girl is grabbing her by the hair and/or seeing her kneel before you with that look only her Master sees in her eyes. There is nothing like hands on coaching & training. This material only aids you by giving you basic knowledge. The “B.E.S.T. slave training guide” has never trained the first girl by itself. The skills of a Master and the willingness of a slave are needed. I honestly believe slave training is primarily an art form and not a science. So grab a hand-full of her hair and lets get started First a warning, she must agree on her own to be trained before any training starts. she must be willing to be a slave girl. This is not about abuse or forcing those not willing or wanting to serve and obey you to do so. In my opinion force does not work or override consent.
Recommended Books on slavery and the BDSM lifestyle